


Last of Your Line

by AricaZorel



Series: The Griffin and the Mabari [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Archdemons (Dragon Age), Background Arl Eamon Guerrin, Background Leliana (Dragon Age), Background Morrigan (Dragon Age), Background Sten (Dragon Age), Background Zevran Arainai, Choices, Comfort, Denerim (Dragon Age), Dragon Age: Origins Quest - Morrigan's Ritual, Dragon Age: Origins Quest - The Battle of Denerim, Duty, F/M, Ferelden, Flirting, Grey Warden Secrets, Grey Wardens, Kissing, Mild Sexual Content, Nightmares, Redcliffe (Dragon Age), Self-Doubt, Sexual Content, Sleeping Together, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2020-12-17 07:24:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21050552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AricaZorel/pseuds/AricaZorel
Summary: Elyssa Cousland and Alistair Theirin are the last of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden's borders. Between the Blight, the Civil War, and their own demons, can they find any peace amongst the chaos? A series of meaningful moments between the main quests of the game.





	1. Good Morning

Alistair glanced down at the woman lying on beside him under the tree they had chosen to rest by. She was laying on her traveling cloak with her back to him. He on the other hand was sitting with his back against the tree, his arm propped up on his knee. They had been traveling for a day by themselves while the other members of their little band secured supplies. He and the last Grey Warden recruit had traveled ahead to see what the path held for them as they traveled closer to Denerim.

Elyssa Cousland was the leader of their group, but she was more than that to him. She was more than a noble woman forced to become a Grey Warden. More than a fellow comrade-in-arms. More than a friend. But being the shy, Chantry-raised fellow, he was he didn't know how to tell her that without sounding stupid. Zevran had made it quite clear that Alistair knew nothing of women, and he was reluctantly forced to agree with the annoying Antivan elf. As a result, his adoration for the woman remained unspoken.

Alistair sighed as he looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful blue, with only a few clouds. The breeze made the day bearable as they sat in the shade. Elyssa had insisted that he come with her instead of one of the others. Both Zev and Leliana had volunteered to accompany her, but she had made it clear Alistair was her choice. He had more recent knowledge of the area around Denerim then the rest of them. It seemed a sound reason to him, other than the fact he was the _safe_ choice. The other two made it no secret that they believed the Lady Cousland to be attractive and would act on that belief if given the chance. He thought Elyssa believed him to be harmless in that respect and once again he found himself agreeing with that. He shook his head. _I'm hopeless..._

“What's wrong, Alistair? You're sighing more than usual,” came a soft voice from beside him.

The ex-templar looked down again. “I thought you were a sleep.”

“Your sighing woke me up,” she teased as she stretched. She arched her back as her head brushed against his leg.

“Forgive me, my lady,” he said trying to hide the reason he had been sighing.

The tone of his voice must have caught her attention because she rolled over onto her back and looked up at him. Her arm thrown over her forehead as she stared up at the sky he had been looking at just moments ago. “Don't call me that, _my prince_.”

Her tone was not teasing as it usually was when she addressed him with that title. When he mumbled an apology, she looked at him and saw how dejected he was. She frowned and laid her other hand gingerly on his knee. The dirty blond looked down at her with a surprised expression.

“What are you doing?” he asked nervously.

“Wondering what has you so deep in thought that you wake me up doing it,” she answered honestly as he averted his gaze from her.

“I—It is nothing. Just...nothing that you would be interested in...” he muttered as he continued to look elsewhere.

“Why do you always insist I'm not interested in what you think or you in general for that matter?” she asked as she moved to lay on her side.

Despite his best effort not to, he sighed again. Realizing there was no way out of the conversation, he replied, “No one cares and anyone who did is gone...”

She squeezed his knee to get his attention. “I'm still here, Alistair.”

He frowned as he looked down at her once again. That statement implied far more than he had dared hope for. “I'm no one...”

“You're Alistair. The man who's kept me sane, kept me alive, and made me smile when I needed it the most,” she said softly as she moved to sit on her knees. “And that same man happens to be pretty cute too.”

The novice Grey Warden turned red as he said, “I didn't realize you thought that way.”

She smiled. “You talk, Alistair, but a lot of the time you say nothing. You hear when I talk but you don't listen. I want to know what it is that you are thinking, and I want you to listen...”

“Elyssa, why?” he asked simply as she leaned forward. “Why?”

Cousland smiled sincerely at him as she closed the distance between them and placed a kiss on his forehead. “Because I care about you, you silly, silly man.”

“I...can be silly...foolish if you listen to Morrigan,” he started as he found a hand over his mouth.

“You are starting to babble, Alistair,” she said as she leaned against his shoulder.

“I supposed that's not what you wanted me to do,” he said slowly as he tensed, not use to the close contact with her. “I am wondering now...you think I'm cute?”

“Yes, Alistair. I do,” the Teyrn's daughter replied as she moved her hand to hold his.

“But you waited to tell me that after I told you who my real father was,” he said, the teasing tone returning to his voice.

“That has nothing to do with it, Alistair _Theirin_,” she said putting an emphasis on his real last name.

“Why do you insist on reminding me that I am a royal bastard?” he asked, a hurt tone in his voice. “You are the only one aside from Morrigan that does that. The others take their cue from you and then make fun of me...As if I didn't give them enough material before I told you...The Arl was right. I never should have told anyone...”

“The Arl? You mean Eamon?” she said softly as a thought crossed her mind. “You are concerned about him, aren't you? Not just because he's ill, but because you still want his approval...You think if you don't find a cure for him you'll have failed him?”

She watched as his expression turned sad. She hated seeing that look on his handsome features. “Wouldn't you? The man who took me in when he didn't have to? Who was the only father figure I'd ever known?”

Elyssa looked at him. “I don't pretend to understand everything you've been through because of who your father was, but I do understand the desire to make those we care about proud and keeping them safe. But I am glad that you told me...And if teasing you about it, no matter how innocent I intend it to be, bothers you that much then I will stop and never speak of it again. You have my word.”

“That's not what I meant...I mean you...what do you want...” Alistair asked confused and frustrated. “You don't make any sense to me...”

“Women generally don't, Alistair,” she said softly as she placed a hand on his cheek. “Or so I am told...but what I want is for you to trust me and not think that I don't pay attention to you.”

“But you don't--”

“Yes. I. Do. Theirin. It just scares you that I pay attention to what you think and say. And it scares you that I might think you have a good idea every once in a while,” Cousland replied as he looked at her confounded.

“You enjoy confusing me, don't you?” he asked.

“Yes. But you seem to like flirting with me in your own awkwardly cute way,” she countered grazing his lips with her thumb.

“Be that as it may, I think that I don't want to talk about anything anymore,” he said softly.

“Okay, but I'm not moving from here. You're a good pillow,” she said as she laid her head back on his shoulder again.

“At least I'm good for something,” the ex-templar commented.

“You're good for more than that, Alistair. I wish you could see that. I do.”

><><><><><><><>< 

_I'm cute...She thinks I'm cute...But she likes confusing me...She also said she wants to know what I think, and she wants my trust...Maker's breath, why are women so confusing?_

Alistair stared at the small fire as he looked at the tent behind him. Elyssa was lying in there alone. She had said she would stay up, but he had insisted that he would do it. If she slept, he didn't have to answer any questions or endure anymore teasing or concerned looks. She was really worried about him. It was something he wasn't used to, especially from a beautiful noble woman.

Why did she care? Why was he still playing with the rose he had picked in Lothering? He had even asked Wynn to put a preservation spell on it. He had meant to give it to her but had never built up the courage to do so. Especially after the teasing Morrigan had given him the one time she had discovered it.

Alistair moaned and then said, “Maker, why must I be so cursed?”

“You don't want to talk to me, so you'll talk to yourself?” Elyssa said from the tent as she held the flap open.

“I have often talked to myself since usually no one else wanted to listen,” he said as he looked at the fire again. He was talking to her even though he had said he didn't want to discuss anything else.

He heard her move from the tent to sit beside him, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and her legs tucked under her. “I'll listen or I'll just sit here...if you'll let me.”

“You can...” he replied as he tried to hide the rose. Unfortunately, it wasn't quick enough.

“What's that?” Cousland asked as she pointed at the red flower in his hands.

“I, ummm, it's nothing?”

“Nothing? Are you trying to trick me?”

“Yes. Absolutely. I'm trying to trick you. Is it working? I just about had you didn't I?” he said trying to use his usual humor to deflect her question.

“Ummm, right. You tricked me. It's really your new weapon of choice against the Darkspawn,” Elyssa said as she looked at him annoyed.

“Yes. That's right. Watch as I thrashing our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements. Feel my thorns, darkspawn. I will overpower you with my rosy scent,” he said getting into the spirit. “Or you know it could just be a rose. I know that's pretty dull in comparison.”

“Dull? You always have a reason for doing something...Usually a sentimental one...”

“Is it that easy to see through me? I guess I shouldn't be surprised,” Alistair said. “I am pretty dull myself...”

He was silent for a long moment as he gathered his thoughts, knowing she expected an answer. “I picked it in Lothering. I remember thinking, 'How could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?'...I probably should have left it alone, but I couldn't. The darkspawn would come, and their taint would just destroy it. So, I've had it ever since.”

He saw her look up at him, the fire light reflecting in her sincere eyes. “What are you going to do with it?”

He fidgeted with the flower and then glanced at her nervously. “I thought that I might...give it to you, actually. In a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you.”

Cousland regarded him thoughtfully and gave him a small smile. “Thank you, Alistair. I... That means a lot to me.”

He gave her a shy grin. “I'm glad you like it. I was just thinking, here I am doing all this complaining and you haven't exactly been having a good time of it yourself. You haven't had any of the good experiences of being a Grey Warden since your Joining, not a word of thanks or congratulations. It's been all death and fighting and tragedy.”

Elyssa looked away from him, unshed tears threatening to fall. He really was more perceptive than he let on. She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. Glancing back at him, she watched as he gave her a reassuring smile. “I thought maybe I could say something. Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this...darkness.”

She looked at the offered rose and then back to the man who had just told her what he had been trying to hide. Quietly she said as she took it from him, “I don't know what to say, Alistair, except thank you. It really does mean a lot to me...”

“I'm glad,” the other Grey Warden replied with a bashful grin. It was clear he hadn't intended to disclose why he had the rose or even give it to her, but his expression told her he was glad he finally had. “Now...if we could move on passed this awkward, embarrassing stage and get right into the steamy bits, I'd appreciate it.”

She knew he was using humor to deflect any serious comments he had made. She was willing to go along with it, but at a price. Raising herself to his level, she leaned in toward him. With little space between them, she watched as he suddenly became nervous. In a voice little more than a whisper, she said, “No one else is here, how steamy do you want it, my prince?”

Alistair knew she was teasing him, but her hot breath blowing across his cheek and ear made him wonder just how much teasing she was doing. The position she had assumed before him, let him see more of her cleavage than normal and she knew it. Doing his level best to hide the response his body was having to her, he pulled back from her as far as the log would let him go.

With a nervous laugh, he said, “Ha ha ha. Bluff called. Damn. She saw right through me.”

She leaned forward again and nuzzled her nose against his cheek. “Why does it have to be a bluff?”

Alistair froze, unsure what to do. A beautiful woman was flirting with him and teasing at the same time. One he considered a friend and respected greatly. But he was finding that he wanted more, especially when she did things like that. “I, ummm, I think I should go sit over there or something...until the blushing stops. Just to be safe. You know how it is.”

Cousland cocked an eyebrow at him as he motioned toward a stump off away from the fire and the tent. “Really? Is that what you really want? Nothing more?”

“Elyssa,” he breathed her name. “You don't know what you do to me when you tease me like that.”

She was quiet for a moment, looking at him intently. “What if...what if I'm not teasing?”

Alistair looked at her trying to decide if he were hearing her correctly. He knew his mouth was opening and closing as he attempted to come up with a response until she placed a hand on his cheek. He froze as soft lips met his. He attempted to pull away but stopped when he heard she voice. “Please don't...I..._ want _this...”

“Elyssa?” he said as his hand went around her without any conscious thought. As she placed her own hands on his chest, he hesitantly returned the kiss. Slowly he increased the intensity as she moved to sit in his lap. With one hand entangled in her long brown hair and the other firmly around her waist, Alistair gave into his secret desire and kissed her long and hard. He heard her moan softly against his mouth as he felt her hands run through his hair.

Slowly he pulled away and looked at her. She was blushing slightly but was making no motions to move out of his arms. Shyly she asked, “May I stay here with you, please?”

“After that, milady, you may do whatever you want,” he replied with a grin.

“Don't say that if you don't mean it,” she said as she laid her head against his shoulder.

“Ah, ha, maybe another time then?” he said half teasing, half testing the waters to see what she would say.

She smiled at him. “We'll see, Alistair...if you're good.”

“Ummm, that will give me something to think about...” he said before he realized how she might take the comment.

“Well, sweet dreams, Alistair...”

“What? Oh, Maker's Breath, woman! You are as bad as Zev and Leliana.”

“If you only knew, my prince...”

<><><><><><><><> 

Alistair woke early the next morning to the embers of their fire and a warm feeling beside him. He looked up and realized that he had slept outside. He sighed and then went to move the blanket from him but found a sleeping Elyssa Cousland instead. She was spooned up against him, wearing a contented smile.

He froze immediately. Maker what had he done?

Slowly the fog cleared, and he remembered her asking to stay with him last night...and a kiss._ I want this._

She really had said that. And now she was curled up beside him outside rather than in her tent. If the others found them like that, they would never hear the end of it.

Despite those thoughts, he found himself running his fingers lightly through her long brown hair. She began to stir and hummed happily. “Alistair?”

“Right here, Elyssa,” he said softly as she turned her head towards him and slowly opened her eyes.

He watched as she stretched to kiss him quickly and said, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, my lady. You are looking very beautiful,” he replied shyly.

She smiled wider and ran a hand through his short dark blonde hair. “I think I like waking up to someone telling me that.”

“Well, I could tell you that each morning when we get back to camp at breakfast,” he offered sincerely.

“At breakfast? I thought you might like to do it before that...”

“Before? You mean before eating...”

“I mean when you wake up...like right after you wake up...”

He was silent for a long moment and then turned red. “You want me to sleep in a tent...the same tent as you...without really...I've never done anything...You are a Teyrn's daughter!”

“Well, if I'm that repulsive...never mind,” she retorted as she turned away from him. How could he say the things he had said the night before and now list every reason why he shouldn't...

“Hey, wait! That isn't what I meant! Elyssa!” Alistair exclaimed as he awkwardly tried to reach for her. She had already rolled away and was on her feet. He watched as she started rooting around in her pack for something to have for breakfast. He watched in silence from the log as he saw her slamming things around and letting her long brown hair fell in her face. He had come to recognize that as a signal that she didn't want anyone to see her cry.

Finally, she sat down as he heard her whisper, “Damn it.”

Alistair rose to his feet, keenly aware that an emotional Elyssa Cousland was not something he enjoyed dealing with. But since he was the cause of her distress, he made an exception. He knelt behind her and listened to her breathing. She was trying to not cry and refused to look at him. Slowly, gently he took a chance and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He brought her to his chest and whispered, “I'm absolutely horrible at these sorts of things. Most of the time I say the exact opposite of what I intend to.”

He heard her sniffle as he nuzzled her neck. “I...am not accustomed to a woman wanting to...spend the night with me.”

“Alistair, I have lost everything and everyone I cared about. You are the one that I, rightly or wrongly, have come to care about because of that. I know that it seems strange, but I’m not imagining this or just trying to fill a hole. I do _care_ about you,” she said quietly as he moved her hair over one of her shoulders.

“Elyssa, I will do anything for you. You know that...” the other Grey Warden replied as he leaned over her shoulder, using one hand to turn her face to look at him. “But this kind of thing...I don't take lightly. It's means something to me, especially since I've never been with anyone...”

She sighed and leaned into his hand. “It would mean something to me too, Alistair. But I didn't mean have sex just because everyone in camp expects me to bed someone. And I didn't mean to imply that you are the _safe_ choice. I... it’s just I slept better last night than I had since I fled Highever...”

Alistair could feel himself turning red and he realized his false assumption. “I...ummm, thought you meant...”

She smiled as him. “No. Not when I asked that...but I'd be lying if I said I had never given any thought to it.”

“You...you've thought of me, _us_ like that?_ Really_?” he replied dumbfounded.

She sighed again and said, “Yes, Alistair. Maybe you should listen to what Leliana is saying when she talks to me more.”

“I...how...why would you say that?”

“You were raised by the Chantry, but you're still a man, Alistair. I'm sure you can figure it out. Or you could always ask Zevran...”

“Ah, no thanks. I'd rather guess.”

<><><><><><><><><> 

“So how is our little Templar?” asked Leliana as she helped prepare the evening meal.

Elyssa looked at her for a moment. There were two possible things the lay sister was referring to. She opted for the safer option and replied, “He is fine given that the Arl is possibly fatally sick and he is wanted dead by the tyrant currently ruling in his dead brother's stead.”

Hoping that would deter the red head, Cousland went back to chopping the vegetables for their stew. The rogue glanced at the Warden with a smile. “That is _not _what I meant.”

“He doesn't want to be king. He just wants to be the best Grey Warden he can to honor Duncan and to save the Arl, so Ferelden is kept safe,” the noble tried again as she caught a glimpse of Alistair across the camp. He had shed his armor and was wearing just a shirt and pants. Both pieces of clothing had seen better days.

“Elyssa, I know that you care for Alistair, more than you are willing to admit. It's plain to see he cares for you in the same regard,” she replied with reserved insight. “While I may appreciate his physical attributes, you also value his tenderness and caring nature. That is not something to shy away from.”

The novice Grey Warden looked at the vegetables she was preparing and then at the other Grey Warden across the camp fire. She admitted slowly, “He...is not experienced like that, Leliana. I don't want to hurt him...or lose him.”

“That is an admirable thought, but shouldn't you consider what _he_ wants as well. He would do anything to keep you safe and happy. He has come to rely on you for so much he will not admit,” the rogue said as Alistair caught their eye. He smiled and waved.

“I suppose,” she replied as she smiled back at him. “You want details if anything happens don't you?”

“Of course, but only if you are willing to share...” Leliana replied with a mischievous smile.

<><><><><><><><> 

“Soooo, what was all the grinning and girly giggling before dinner?” Alistair asked as he poked the fire. Most of the others had already retired to their tents. Sten stood stoically off from them keeping watch.

Elyssa frowned as she looked at him. He refused to meet her gaze as he seemed to be preoccupied. Was he paranoid that she had been gossiping with Leliana about him? Of course, he was. He was Alistair. He cared what others thought even if he didn't openly say so.

She put down the Grey Warden history book she had picked up along their travels and replied, “First off, no one has ever said I have a girly giggle. The second thing is you were grinning at us too.”

“Well, yes. But only because I thought...Oh Maker, why are women especially in groups so complicated?” he said in a somewhat defeated tone.

She smiled at him and shook her head. “It's a woman's prerogative to be confusing, or so I've been told. I was always scolded for playing with boys' toys...”

“So, you weren't exactly the prim and proper lady all the eligible bachelor nobles were chasing after?” the ex-templar asked as he tilted his head to study her.

“No. No I wasn't. My mother thought I would never marry. My father said I would find someone in my own time. My brother teased me either way...even before he went to Ostagar...”

The Teyrn's daughter grew silent and pensive as she stared into the fire. Alistair sensed the change in her mood and slowly moved to sit beside her. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye but did nothing else to acknowledge his presence. He sat beside her for several long minutes and then said, “As hollow as this may sound, it was never confirmed that your brother was lost at Ostagar...”

She nodded. “I suppose...there is hope...Fergus was always stubborn. If anyone could survive, he would.”

“Elyssa,” he said as he placed a hand lightly on her knee. “I... I am here...if you want me here...”

She leaned against his shoulder as she whispered, “Just stay with me...I just need that, _you_. Please?”

“I am yours, Elyssa. Whatever you need,” the other Grey Warden said without hesitation.

She tilted her head to look up at him and gave him a half grin. He hooked a finger under her chin and gave her a cheeky grin. “Just remember I'm not Zevran.”

She poked him in the ribs and said, “No you're not but you might have learned some interesting things from those books you read at the Chantry that you weren't supposed to read.”

“As a gentleman, I am not at liberty to reveal what may have been in said books...” he replied, glad she was smiling, even a little. “But if I had read books like those in the Chantry it would stand to reason that I might have little to no first-hand experience with the subject.”

Elyssa's eyes grew wide as she looked at his profile in the fire light. He was turning red at the admission as he refused to meet her gaze. She giggled to herself as she reached for his arm and wrapped it around her waist. Alistair looked down at her with a confused expression, no doubt confused by her laughter. She smiled at him and pulled him down to her level. As she kissed him gently, he gave into the feeling he would never understand women completely.

“You enjoy confusing me don't you?” the ex-templar asked as he rested his forehead against hers.

“Yes,” she replied simply.

“I should have expected that answer.”

“Yes. You should have,” she replied with a smile as she leaned against his chest again feeling more secure and content that she had in months.

<><><><><><><> 

Alistair woke up in his tent as the morning light filtered through the door flap. He stretched and then felt something soft and warm shift beside him. The ex-templar looked down and smiled as the woman beside him shifted to spoon closer to his chest. He ran a hand tenderly through her long dark hair and whispered, “Good morning, my beautiful Elyssa.”


	2. Foolish

The small band of travelers saddled with the responsibility of uniting Fereldan against the Blight had decided to make camp for the night. They were searching for the Urn of Sacred Ashes as of present in order to save Arl Eamon’s life. They had found a sheltered valley between the snow-covered mountains that offered a safe harbor for the night. As they set camp, everyone was wary of the impending mission. Half believed in Andraste, the other thought she to be a raving lunatic. Elyssa Cousland, de facto leader of their group, poked the fire she had started as the food cooked. Leliana and Wynne were going over their supplies making a list for resupply at the village of Haven. They would reach the remote town tomorrow where they hoped to find some trace of the wayward Brother Genitivi. Sten was making sure the perimeter was safe accompanied by Argo. Morrigan was off by herself as usual going over the black tome of Flemeth they’d found in the Circle Tower. Alistair was fighting with trying to put up two tents—his and Elyssa’s.

She glanced over at the novice Grey Warden and grinned to herself. He had volunteered to erect both tents despite the fact she had said he didn’t have to. He had insisted that he should do it since she had washed his dirty laundry the last time. She’d only done so because his socks reeked beyond anything Argo had ever given Morrigan as a ‘gift.’ Regardless, she turned the rabbits Sten had killed earlier as the fire crackled in front of her. She decided she hated the cold.

As she sighed, she realized just how much she missed Highever. Even the weather she missed. It was usually a pleasant temperature with rain every now and then. Snow was only in winter and never lasted long. The rest of the year was pleasant. Snow, cold, and wind were not anything she missed. Knowing that the life of the Arl was important was one thing, but she didn’t have to like how they had to do it. 

Elyssa heard a curse and then a triumphant roar from behind her. As she turned, she heard Morrigan mutter _fool_ under her breath. The female Grey Warden smiled as she saw Alistair swagger over to her from the now fully erect tents. When he came to a stop in front of her, he bowed. “A tent for my lady.”

Cousland cocked her head as she said, “You are a strange man.”

“And that’s the thanks I get for putting up your tent. I thought it would at least be worth a ‘thank you kind ser’,” he said feigning hurt feeling. As he began to sob loudly, she rolled her eyes and turned back to the fire.

“You don’t appreciate anything I do. You think I’m a fool like Morrigan. I thought you thought better of me. It’s not fair,” he cried for all the camp to here.

“Andraste’s flaming sword, Alistair! Is this why you had to scour pots all the time when you were in the Chantry?” she asked half annoyed, half amused by his antics.

“How did you know?” he asked, surprise in his voice as he suddenly became serious.

“We all know now, my boy,” Wynne said from the other side of the camp. “I suppose you did not learn maturity during your time with Chantry.”

“No, no I didn’t. My teachers would tell you that. But they still wanted me to be a Templar. Go figure,” he replied with a shrug.

Leliana chimed as she said, “Oh, but I think you make a much more handsome Grey Warden. We get to see so much more of that lovely muscular body of yours…I think our other Grey Warden would agree…”

“Oh look, she’s blushing,” Wynne said as she returned to her task. “You two are so adorable to watch.”

Elyssa knew she was turning red but couldn’t help it. Turning away from her tormentors, she realized she came face to face with Alistair. She glanced up at him and then hissed softly, “You…You started this.”

“You look good in red,” he replied playfully.

“What are you trying to prove, Alistair? That I can be embarrassed too? Or did I anger you somehow?” she asked honestly, not understanding why he was behaving the way he was.

“Wha—No, I was just trying to get you to…to smile,” he offered as he closed the distance between them. “I saw you looking sad earlier. I just thought that maybe I could make you smile. That’s all…I’m sorry if that—if I went too far.”

She regarded him intently as she considered his words. He was just trying to make her smile, to make her feel better. He knew her so well that he could almost tell what she was thinking. Cousland looked down at the ground as he stood silently in front of her. “You…care that much?”

He made of noise of surprise as he frowned. “Would that surprise you?”

“I…I don’t know…” she admitted softly as he reached for her hand.

“Well, then let me ask you this: with all the time we spent together, you know, the tragedy, the brushes with death, the constant battles with the blight looming over us, will you miss it once it’s over?”

She cocked her heard as she glanced up at him. “Miss the constant battles? Or miss _you_?”

“I know it…might sound strange, considering we haven’t known each other for very long, but I’ve come to care for you…a great deal,” he admitted slowly, almost shyly. “I think maybe it’s because we’ve gone through so much together. I don’t know. Or maybe I’m imagining it. Maybe I’m fooling myself.”

He fumbled with her fingers as he asked, avoiding her eyes, “Am I? Fooling myself? Or do you think you might ever…feel the same way about me?”

“I think I already do,” Elyssa replied as she squeezed his hand. Alistair raised his head to look at her with hope in his hazel eyes. She grinned at him as he leaned in and kissed her sweetly. He gently pulled her toward him ignoring stares from their party members.

Slowly he pulled back and regarded her affectionately. “That…that wasn’t too soon, was it?”

“No, not really, especially since you’ve already kissed me before…I liked it,” Elyssa replied as she continued to hold his hand.

“Good. I’ll take that as a good sign,” he said as the fire crackled behind them. He sighed as he added, “Maker’s breath, you’re beautiful. I’m a lucky man.”

She blushed under his intense gaze as he motioned toward the almost done dinner. “Now let’s get back to what we were doing before someone accuses us of neglecting our chores and burning our supper.”

“If it’s burnt, I blame you, ser knight,” Elyssa said turning to the rabbits. Alistair wrapped an arm around her waist as he helped her remove them from the fire. She leaned into him as they prepared the dinner. They ignored the stares from the others, at least while they fixed the meal. Elyssa found that Alistair had been right. Making her smile had made her feel better. Not believing how lucky she had been to meet him, she decided to do everything to keep him in her life and protect him, just as he wanted to protect her.

<><><><><><><><><>

They had spent several grueling days attempting to reach the final resting place of Andraste in order to save the Arl of Redcliffe’s life. Elyssa was glad to do it because it was the right thing to do; they needed his help to unite Ferelden against Loghain. And it meant a great deal to Alistair. But she couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong. She hadn’t really noticed it until they had gone through the gauntlet. Perhaps the talking to the Guardian and seeing her parents one last time had unsettled her. But to her, Alistair’s confession to the spirit had stirred something in her.

He had told her that she was too hard on herself and that no one was perfect. Seeing her parents again had helped with the guilt she felt for surviving when they had not. Her own personal peace was not what it should have been simply because the man walking through the snow behind her was guilt ridden still. She clutched the pouch of the Maker’s Bride’s ashes closer to her chest. Could she somehow help the goodhearted man like he had helped her so much before?

Cousland slowed her pace and let Sten and Argo take the lead as she fell in step with Alistair. The Qunari regarded her with disapproval but trudged on ahead. She ignored him as she looked up at the taller dark blond man beside her. He was looking down at the ground, oblivious to her presence. He had been unusually quiet since the recovery of the fabled ashes. 

“Alistair?” she asked quietly, trying not to draw too much attention to them.

When he failed to acknowledge her, she dropped a hand to his. He finally glanced over at her with a blank stare. His hazel eyes where filled with anguish. How could he tell her _she_ was too hard on herself when he did the exact same thing? She looped her arm around his and leaned against his shoulder. He watched her in silence, but squeezed her hand in understanding.

He kissed the crown of her head as he whispered, “Thank you, blossom.”

She nodded as they continued to make their way back down the mountain to bring the ashes to the Arl. Hopefully they would not be too late to save the man. But selfishly the Teyrn’s daughter hoped she could find a way to help Alistair believe in himself and know that not all was his fault, nor should he take responsibility for things beyond his control.

<><><><><><><><>

As the group camped at the base of the mountains, Elyssa was glad for no more snow. The white stuff combined with the cold and wind had strained her patience. She looked at the pendent that the spirit of her father had given her. It involuntarily brought a smile to her face. She had that and her father’s sword to remember them by. Alistair had nothing of Duncan. He had said as much, and it greatly troubled him.

She held the necklace close to chest as she listened to the sounds outside her tent. Everyone was getting ready for bed, except Morrigan who had volunteered to have first watch. She had started using the time to go over her mother’s black book. Cousland waited until it sounded as if all had retired to their tents and then poked her head out of hers. She saw the Witch of the Wilds engrossed in the tome and no one else. Knowing the other woman would say something, she decided to just deal with it. She needed to see Alistair.

As Elyssa made her way to the other Grey Warden’s tent, Morrigan quipped without looking up, “Would it not simply be easier to bed him now and sate your curiosity without all these…foolish courting rituals? He is a good _physical _specimen, but his dimwittedness negates such a…benefit.”

Elyssa exhaled slowly. “Not everything is about sex, Morrigan. Some people wish a relationship with more depth.”

“As you say, but how can you expect a _deep_ relationship with a man who asked Leliana if she were a woman?” the mage asked regarding the other woman over the book.

She shrugged as she stood before Alistair’s tent. “It’s Alistair.”

“And with that I have my answer,” Morrigan commented as she went back to her book.

Cousland shook her head as she knelt down before the flap to the other Grey Warden’s tent. Softly, she called his name. There was no response. She frowned. Surely he wasn’t asleep already. Deciding to ignore social graces just once, she lifted the flap and half way entered the tent. Immediately she saw he was indeed not asleep. She bit her lip and turned red as she realized he was putting away clothes while dressed only in his under garments.

Alistair’s eyes went wide as he realized what she was seeing and squeaked, “Elyssa!”

“I…I…I’m sorry…you didn’t answer…I thought something…might be wrong…” she stuttered as she started to back out of the tent.

“Would you two keep your coupling escapades to yourselves?” Morrigan called from the camp fire.

Elyssa turned redder as she tripped over the tie to the door flap. She pitched forward as Alistair instinctively reached out to catch her. Despite her best efforts, Elyssa landed on top of him in a straddling position. With him only in his small clothes and the noble woman wearing only the dress from under her armor, the implication of their position was not lost on either of them. They both remained frozen as they stared into each other’s eyes. Both were beet red, but dared not move.

Alistair rested his hands on her waist as she held her hand against his bare chest. The skirt of her dress rode up dangerously high, exposing most of her thighs. Elyssa inhaled sharply as she realized he was rubbing his thumbs against her lower stomach. Alistair eyes darted from her face to his hands as he realized what he was doing. He stopped as he looked back up to her. Her expression was one of yearning and uncertainty but her hands dug into his shoulders.

“Elyssa…” he said throatily as his hands squeezed her gently.

“I…I…” she tried to say something coherent as his hands dropped to her thighs and began rubbing them lightly. He watched her expression closely as she closed her eyes. The sounds she made only encouraged some instinctive urge in him to make her keep making those noises. His hands moved of their own accord as they pushed the material of her skirt up further revealing more skin. Tentatively, he moved a hand underneath the dress across her stomach.

She shuttered and moaned as she moved a hand to his hair. “Alistair…”

He continued his exploration as she encouraged him with her touch and words. The ex-Templar felt his manhood respond to her very presence as she ran her hand possessively through his hair. He lifted his hips slightly, pushing his swollen member against her bottom. She emitted a low moan as he moved one hand to the outside of her dress. Slowly he pulled on the string holding the bodice together. He parted the material to reveal the swell of her breasts. Enthralled with the newly revealed flesh, he sat up and began kissing the valley between them.

“Ah, by the Maker!” she breathed as he grazed the side of her breast. Alistair smiled to himself as he nipped at her collar bone. He would never have guessed he would have been able make a woman utter such noises. She suddenly ground herself into his hips, trying to get closer to him. Her fingernail scratched lightly across his skin. Alistair hissed as he began kneading her breast.

“Al…is…stair…” she moaned as he claimed her lips with his mouth. Teasing her hardened nipples with his fingers, he continued his hungry assault on her mouth. He moved the opened dress further off her shoulder to reveal her small clothes. He caressed the cloth covering the mounds but did not move it.

She whimpered as she pulled at his short hair. “Please…”

Suddenly, Alistair lifted his head to look at her flushed face. “Maker’s breathe, what am I doing?”

She looked at him confused. “I…I don’t understand…I thought you…I…”

On the verge of tears, she quickly scurried off of him. “This wasn’t why I came. I just wanted to see if you were alright.”

The male Grey Warden regarded her with concern and adulation. “Blossom, don’t think I don’t want this. I do. Maker’s breath, I want it more than I ever thought I could. But this isn’t the right time…I don’t think we are ready…”

“Then you don’t think I was trying to seduce you or anything?” Cousland asked hesitantly.

“If you wanted to _seduce_ me, you wouldn’t have to try,” he said coyly as he reached for her. “But no, I don’t think you were…”

Cousland looked down at his outstretched hand and took it. He pulled her back to him as he covered himself with a blanket from his bedroll. As he held her against him, asked, “What did you want to talk about?”

“Huh? Oh, umm, up until a couple minutes ago you seemed to be distant…Is there anything I can do?” she said slowly as he started to rub circles on her back.

“Oh, well, I keep forgetting that someone pays attention to what I say or I guess what I don’t in this case…” he admitted as she looked up with him with concern in her eyes. He pulled the dress back up onto her shoulder as he added, “I did not mean to worry you. I just…What the Guardian said was true…”

She had been right. But what could she do. Would she even accept her suggestion? “Alistair, you said I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. So why should you be any different?”

“Because…I should have been there to save him. It was my duty and I failed. I failed to save him and now I’m alive instead of the Commander of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden. How is that fair?” he blurted out, pulling her to him roughly, as if trying to make her understand his pain.

Anger suddenly welled up inside her. Anger at the Arl, at Maric, at Cailan, at Loghain, at the Chantry, at Goldana, at anyone who ever hurt Alistair because of who his father had been. She pushed against him. “Damn you, Alistair! Why do you insist on proving Morrigan right? You’re not a fool or an idiot. You are worth everything to me! Duncan saved your life by sending you to the tower with me! He made sure we did our duty because that’s what the king had ordered. You didn’t kill Duncan. He wanted you to live, to become the Grey Warden he knew you could be. He knew you would be a great leader one day. You just need to believe in yourself. I believe in you…Why can’t you see that?”

He looked down at her in disbelief. She was telling him the same thing she had said outside Goldana’s house but only now was he hearing it. His head fell to his hand as he realized what an utter stupid he had been. A beautiful woman cared about him, more than anyone had that he could remember and could was stuck in the past. Obsessing over events he couldn’t change.

“Do you really think Morrigan is right about me?” he said quietly as he held her hand in both of his.

“No, well, maybe sometimes, but not all the time,” she admitted as he brought her hand to his lips. He kissed the back of it as he cocked his head.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, blossom. You are the one bright light in all this darkness. I just want this to go right…I’ve never felt like this before…” he said as he moved some strands of hair out of her eyes.

“You need to trust yourself, Alistair. You do that and everything will be fine. I know you…I mean, you didn’t have the ideal childhood, but I…never mind. It’s none of my business,” she trialed off as she started to move away from him.

“No, wait. You wanted to talk to me. What is it that concerns you so, my dear?” he asked holding her hand firmly.

She looked over at him and then settled back down on the bedroll. “It’s just that you said all your life someone _else_ has made the important choices for you and that you hated the fact that your blood has shaped your life…I just think that now you can decide for yourself, but you…”

“But I what, my dear? You seem hesitant to tell me. I want to know what you think. It means a lot to me and I…you’re the only person I’ve ever feel comfortable talking to about…things,” he encouraged as her eyes looked at his chest.

“You don’t seem to want to choose for yourself. You keep finding reasons you shouldn’t have to make decisions…I just wondered why?”

“Because I never had anyone believe in me the way you do. I’m still trying to get use to that. I’m sorry if that…bothers you,” he said with regret and defeat in his voice as he played with her hair.

Elyssa glanced back up at him. His expression remorseful. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Alistair. I just want you to know you can trust me…you can talk to me, about anything…and I’m here for you no matter what.”

“By the Maker, Elyssa, I should know that. I _do_ know that,” Alistair hissed as he cupped her face with his hand. He slowly dipped his head to her level as he said, “I am blessed by the Maker himself to have found you. You make me belief I can be a better man than I am. I don’t know how I can repay you.”

“You don’t have to, silly boy. That’s what people do when they care about one another,” she said as he pulled her to him and kissed her fiercely.

“Stay here tonight with me, please,” he pleaded as he kissed her over and over. “I…I need you with me, please, Lyssa…”

She held onto the secret son of the king and whispered, “As you wish, my prince.”

He nipped her ear lightly as she squirmed in his hands. “You are never going to let me live that down, are you my lady?”

“No,” she said as he pulled her down to the bedroll. She lay on his shoulder as he covered her with the rest of the blanket.

“So this is some sort of revenge is it?” he asked as he nuzzled her neck. She nodded as he pulled her to him.

“Part of it, anyway,” she replied with a yawn.

Alistair stroked her hair as he said, “You’re tired, Lyssa. You should go to sleep. But I thank you for staying with me…”

“Hmmm, I’ll always be with you, Alistair. Never doubt that,” she said sleepily against his chest. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, my dear,” he replied as he felt relief and peace for the first time in a long time.


	3. Pants

“So why don’t you want to lead?” Elyssa Cousland asked innocently as she stood above Alistair. He was kneeling by one of their supply packs organizing it.

He looked up at her blankly, caught off guard by her question. _Hadn’t they already covered that?_

“Umm, well, yes. I don’t want to lead. Being a royal bastard sent to the Chantry and told to become a Templar and to stay out of the way doesn’t really lend itself to leading anyone anywhere,” he replied restating what he knew he’d already told her.

He turned back to his task hoping that would sate her curiosity but knew it wouldn’t. He saw her kneel down beside him from the corner of his eye. _Maker’s breath, did she have to be so close?_

“Alistair,” she said softly. He refused to meet her gaze as he attempted to use humor to distract her. “Look, when I lead we get lost and I wind up with no pants. Remember? I _know_ I’ve told you this before.”

He knew she was smiling and that she was going to keep pressing until he told her the_ real_ reason. Suddenly he felt her hand on his. He looked down to see her delicate fingers wrapped around his calloused, scarred hand. Alistair finally looked over at her with a confused expression. “What do you want from me, Elyssa? I’m a royal bastard, an inconvenience, a—“

“The truth,” the noble woman stated simply, even though she knew it was causing him pain to talk about his past.

Alistair exhaled sharply and rocked back on his heels. Letting himself fall unceremoniously to the ground, he shook his head. _How could she be so wonderful and maddening at the same time?_

“I told you—“

“You told me what others have told you your whole life. I want to know why _you_ believe you can’t lead. Because I don’t see what the others are talking about.”

The male grey warden sat with a leg drawn up to his chest as he rested his right arm on it_. Why did she push so hard? Did she really see something in him that no one else had?_

But Duncan had said he’d seen something; that’s why he’d been recruited… He looked down at the ground between them. She was still kneeling by him, waiting for an answer. That was one of her strengths, the exact opposite of him…

“I can’t…”

“You can’t what?”

“I can’t lead. I can’t…I don’t know how. What if something happened? What if I didn’t know what to do? I don’t have what it takes.”

“Yes, you do. I know you do,” she protested as she took the hand resting on his knee.

“Sometimes I think you may have hit your head harder than we thought in the tower…” he said trying once again to deflect her curiosity.

“Alistair, leading is making the right choices, knowing what’s right, and what’s wrong. Weighing the options, and making the best decision possible at the time…If you don’t know, make it up and act like you know everything.”

Alistair looked at her in disbelief. “You don’t know what you’re doing when you tell us to do something?”

“Not all the time. Just some of the time,” she admitted with a shrug of the shoulders as she felt herself starting to blush.

“So, our fearless leader _doesn’t_ know what she is doing,” the ex-Templar teased with a smirk as he leaned forward.

She continued to blush as he closed the distance between them. “Do you believe I can do it?”

“What?...Of course I do. I wouldn’t push you to do what I believe you can do if I didn’t…” she said as he reached for her cheek. “But only if you want to.”

“Maybe with you help,” Alistair replied as he stroked her cheek with a calloused thumb.

She looked at him in surprise as he smiled at her. “Alistair, what do you mean?”

“Well, with all the time we’ve been traveling together and what we have talked about in our own awkward way. You see. You somehow make me think I can be more than I am.”

“And what are you?”

“The bastard son of the king and a serving girl who was made to become a Templar…” he said as Elyssa began to protest. He placed his thumb over her lips to quiet her as he continued, “But you make me want to believe I can be the Grey Warden Duncan said I could be, and I want to be…”

As he trailed off, she cocked her head to lean into his hand. “To be what, Alistair?”

He averted his eyes as he turned red. “To be the man you deserve…”

She was quiet for a long moment as she considered the implications of what he had just said. Finally she admitted, “I’d like that…I’d like that very much, Alistair.”

His head shot up to look at her. “Wha—Really?...I mean…Oh wow, I feel like I’m standing in front of the Chantry with no pants…”

She grinned. “That’s kind of what started this conversation.”

“Elyssa, I have nothing to offer you. I have no family, no land, no title, no real income, or means of providing for you. All I can offer is myself…”

“That’s all I’ve ever really wanted…”

“But you’re a Teyrn’s daughter. Weren’t you betrothed or something to some dashing young noble or something?”

She smiled at him again as he kissed the palm of his hand. “Why would I want a Ban or a Teyrn or an Arl when I can have a Prince?”

By the way she said it he knew she wasn’t only interested the remote chance of him inheriting the throne but he asked anyway. “Prince? So now you’re only interested in me for my would-be title now are you?” he said pulling her closer to him as he moved his hand to the base of her head. His eyes were full of desire.

She whispered “Alistair, you know that’s not true…”

“Yes, I do,” he replied huskily as his lips grazed hers. “I just like to ask silly questions.”

Before she could say anything, his mouth hungrily claimed hers. Elyssa found herself willingly returning the passionate kiss with the same intensity as she leaned forward on her knees. Alistair pulled her into his lap as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, his previous task forgotten. He explored her mouth with his tongue as he tangled his fingers through her hair. She moaned into his mouth as she ran her fingers across his neck.

Finally Alistair broke the kiss as he held her firmly in his lap. “What brought all this on?”

She hesitated and then replied, “I—Ever since the Arl said you might have to assume your birthright I’ve…I’ve been scared for you.”

“…scared…for me?” he said dumbfoundly. “I don’t ever want to be king. I want to be a warden and…to be with you.”

“With me? Alistair, we each have our responsibilities and that means facing our greatest fears sometimes. I don’t want you hurt because you are focused on me instead of your duty…” the noble woman said slowly as his grip on her tightened.

“Tell me you aren’t trying to push me away, not after all that we’ve been through,” the red haired grey warden said, fear evident in his voice. “You can’t just say all that and—“

Elyssa cut him off by launching herself at him as she awkwardly kissed him. The sudden motion caused Alistair to lose his balance, falling backward with the female warden landing on him. He held onto her as she straddled him and pulled him closer to her. “I don’t want to lose you, you idiot. I can’t…”

He looked up at her in astonishment. “Lyssa?”

“I…I can’t lose anyone else I care about,” she said as she buried her face in his shoulder. Alistair felt her start to tremble as muffled sobs emanated her. He started to stroke her back gently as he held her.

“Blossom, I’m here. Don’t cry. Please?” he whispered as pulled her as close as he could. He had never seen her so vulnerable. Always the invincible Grey Warden leader. Only when Rendon Howe or Fergus were mentioned was there even a sense of fallibility. He had learned to recognize these instances and say something to take her mind off of it. But now words failed him.

“Alistair…” she cried as he kissed the top of her head.

“I won’t leave you. And you could never hurt me anymore than I could hurt you. I won’t stand for it,” he promised as he moved strands of hair out of her face. He looked down and saw that she was crying less. “You mean the world to me. I know my duty and somehow we will make it all work.”

Finally she looked up at him as she lay on top of his chest. “I…I’m sorry…I just…”

“I know. You lost everything and everyone you held dear. I can’t imagine what that is like. I only know of Duncan…But I am here and I think I have come to care for you a great deal. More than a man of my station should…”

“I don’t care, Alistair. You know that…”

“You aren’t promised to anyone?”

“No, my parents were leaving that up to me.”

“Sensible folks…I would have liked to meet them.”

“And they you.”

“…I should let you get back to your task. I’m sure Morrigan or Lelianna will have something to say about my prolonged absence.”

As they sat up, Alistair wiped away a stray tear. “You could always feed them to the darkspawn and act as if that were the plan the whole time…”

“I should never have told you that…”

“Just considerate payback for calling me _my prince_ all the time.”

“Hmmm, maybe I should feed you to the darkspawn and spare myself anymore teasing.”

“You like my teasing and you know it. It’s Zevran that bothers you. Maker’s breathe, that man does not know how to take a hint.”

“You’re the one that always turns red when he brings up sex.”

“Well, I was raised by the chantry to be a gentleman, not a lecher. Sometimes Lelianna isn’t much better.”

“Oh I don’t know. I think it’s cute when they make you blush.”

“That’s just what every man wants: a woman to say that they are cute.”

“I already told you that you were handsome. What else do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know…”

“How about the fact I think your pants fit well in all the right places.”

“…_That_ I was not expecting…”

“Good, now finish your pack while I go help with dinner.”

“Your desire is my command, my lady.”

She turned to him with a grin as she bowed. “As you say, my prince…”

Alistair frowned and then quickly smiled as he watched her walk away. Two could play at that game. “You armor accents all the right places, my lady warden.”

He watched as she almost tripped and then heard a string of curses. She refused to look back at him though. Alistair shook his head knowing somehow, sometime he was going to pay for that. At that moment he didn’t care because he knew he’d made her smile.


	4. Less to Carry

Elyssa Cousland stood before a roaring fire in the room she’d been given by the Arl of Redcliff. Her band of misfits had decided to spend a few days in the arling to regroup, resupply, and rest while they determined their next course of action. Now with Arl Eamon recovered, Soldier’s Peak recaptured, and the Circle of Magi swearing allegiance to the Grey Wardens, only the treaties for the dwarves and elves remained. But there was also the possibility of contacting the Orlesian Grey Wardens as well as Loghain’s men and assassins lying in wait for the only two Grey Wardens in Ferelden. And one of those Wardens was heir to the throne…

Elyssa let out a groan of frustration as she laid her head against the fireplace mantle. Alistair had told her about his real father before they had initially arrived in Redcliff. She hadn’t really known how to reply to his confession. And after their conversation he’d told her that he had just wanted her to treat him normal, without sympathy or like he was special. The noble woman had no idea how to respond to that either. And almost three weeks later she still had no inkling of an idea how to really act around the prince.

They had been fighting with no real down time and now they had some. And Elyssa was sure he’d come to find her sooner rather than later. Alistair may act the fool most of the time, but it was really a cover for true intelligence and observation skills. He would notice her discomfort around him and would start asking questions. But what was she supposed to tell him?

As if on cue, a knock sounded as the heavy wooden door opened and shut. “Lyssa?”

She didn’t move as the familiar presence hesitantly approached her from behind. “I thought you might be exploring the castle or keeping Zevren out of trouble. He’s following Morrigan around again.”

When all she did was shake her head, Alistair stopped short of touching her. “You aren’t alright are you, Lyssa?”

She said nothing, much to his disappointment. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I just wanted you to treat me like a normal person. Not like a royal bastard. I know I’ve let you down…I’ll leave you—”

“No! Alistair, please, don’t go,” the female Grey Warden protested as she turned quickly to him. “Don’t leave me too.”

Alistair stood in silent shock as she flung herself into this arms. “Blossom?”

“You’re all I have left, Alistair. I don’t care who your parents are or what people thought you should be. I—”

She trailed off as Alistair felt tears hit his shoulders. Her loss of composure left him unsure what to do. Slowly he moved his hands to encircle her gently as he found himself promising, “I won’t leave you, Elyssa.”

He stroked her wavy hair as she gripped his clothes tightly. She remained silent as he said softly, “I…I didn’t realize you thought that way, Blossom.”

“I didn’t know what to say or what to do after you told me about your father…It only serves to make you more of a threat to Loghain…and we haven’t exactly made your identity a secret,” she said looking at his chest.

Suddenly Alistair’s understood the past weeks distance and awkwardness between them. She was worried for his safety not rejecting him because he was Maric’s son. “I’m wanted by our benevolent regent as it is because I’m a Grey Warden. It would seem my choices are limited either way I go.”

“Alistair, I’m sorry if I hurt you. I—”

“You lost everything and everyone because of one man’s treachery. No one can blame you for being cautious, especially me. But I promise you, Elyssa. I will not leave you. The Maker himself would have to tear me away from you—”

Cousland looked up at him with a dawning expression in her eyes. The other Grey Warden was as serious as she had ever seen him. But a slight red tint was beginning to creep across this handsome features.

Softly she breathed, “Alistair—”

“Look, I—We need to talk. I didn’t want to do this while you were…I don’t know…I had this speech all planned out and rehearsed. But now…”

Elyssa looked at him quizzically as he held her. He was suddenly very anxious. “Are you nervous? You’re sweating.”

“Ah, well, yes I’m sweating and nervous. And now I’m going to stop talking.”

“But you said we needed to talk.”

“I did, didn’t I?”

She smiled at him as he blushed. Finally, he said, “I—You see being around you drives me crazy. Oh, I wish I were better at this. I just feel like I’m all hands with you. I feel like my head is going to explode.”

She put a hand on his chest as she said, “As fun as that might be to watch, I’d prefer if you_ were_ all hands with _me_.”

“By the Maker, woman! You’ll be the death of me yet with your teasing.”

“I had a more positive outlook for us, but teasing is still an option.”

“My lady, you have no idea the effect you have on me.”

“Actually, I have recently come to understand just what kind of effect I have on you. And I rather like it.”

“Maker’s breath, Lyssa! You are beautiful.”

It was Cousland’s turn to blush as Alistair took her chin in his hand. He grinned as she leaned into his hand. He grazed her lips with a calloused thumb. “I love you, Lyssa.”

“Really?”

“Do you think I’d trick you?”

“I don’t know…maybe on somethings but not this.”

“So, I didn’t fool you? I just fooled myself until now.”

“Hmmm. I think I love you too.”

“Really? That’s a relief…I was nervous.”

“I could tell, my prince.”

“You’re not going to do that all the time are you?”

“No, but I might do this fairly often.”

Elyssa leaned into him and kissed him tenderly. She could feel him pull her closer as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Slowly Alistair began increasing the intensity of their kiss as if giving her the option to walk away. Instead she intertwined her fingers in his hair and parted her lips for his beaconing tongue. Any doubts Alistair had about her feelings for him disappeared in that moment.

Finally, the would-be prince pulled back and looked intently at the Teyrn’s daughter. “I’ve only felt this strongly about 2 things in my life: my duty as a Grey Warden and my wanting to keep you safe and happy…I swear to you, Lyssa, I’ll never give you cause to cry.”

He waited for her reaction as he felt her massage the base of his skull. Her lovely features seemed to indicate she was deep in thought. After several long moments she finally said, “If you become king, you’d have other responsibilities…You’ll have to marry someone who can…provide you an heir…and other things…”

“That’s a big if, my lady,” he observed as she began to avert her eyes from his. “Why bring this up now?” It’s a remote possibility and I don’t want to be king—”

“You’re a good man, Alistair, with a kind heart. Your genuinely want to help Ferelden and its people…You know what its like to be outside the noble arena. And you don’t want the crown…That’s why you’d be a good king,” she explained firmly as she tried to hold back tears. “And because of that you need to consider that possibility…because if it happens, I’m not sure I can follow you.”

He looked at her in shock and disbelief. They had finally admitted they loved one another, and she was worrying about him becoming king. He didn’t understand it.

He took her firmly by the shoulders and shook her. “I know you love me. I _know_ it. If I have to assume the throne…_if_ I do, you will be right by my side. I’ll not have it any other way…Do you understand?”

That was the most serious she’d ever seen him. It only made her love him more and wish his words could come true. “Alistair, there is no guarantee I can give you a child and Leliana and Zev over heard the Arl saying that out close relationship could be a problem…because I might as well be considered barren…”

Angered that the two rogues had been ease-dropping on the Arl but enraged that what they’d heard might be true, Alistair let go of Elyssa and turned away from her. He let out a growl of frustration as he punched a nearby armoire. “How could I not see this? I should have listened to you more. I can’t keep letting other make decisions for me. Damn him! I thought he as a good man.”

Tentatively, Elyssa places a hand on his shoulder. She’d never seen him so angry let a lone knew he was capable of such rage. He glanced over his shoulder; anger etched into his face. Softly she called his name. That was all it took for him to regain his composure as he took her in his arms again.

“We’ll get through this. I know we can…” he soothed as she hugged him back. Wheels began to turn in the bastard prince’s head as he added, “Maybe Goldanna was right about one thing. I should tell the high and mighty people I run with how things really are.”

***************

Elyssa awoke before the dawn completely lit up the room. She rubbed her eyes and blinked the sleep away. Despite the emotional outburst from the night before, she had slept peacefully. As she stretched, the noble woman suddenly felt a warm presence in the bed beside her. She reached for her dagger as she carefully glanced at the form beside her.

Her features softened as a small smile touched her lips. Alistair slept next to her, spread across half the bed. An arm dangling off the edge as the other laid above his head. He breathed loudly as she released the dagger. Elyssa turned over to lay on her stomach, propping her chin up with her hands. She watched him sleep, his loose shirt revealing his well tone chest with the rise and fall of his chest.

He’d stated to change ever so slightly after meeting his sister. He was more confident in what he wanted and what his duties might be. But he was also more driven to keep her by his side. Regardless of why he had changed, Elyssa was glad it was for the better.

As she continued to watch him, she realized his breathing had become more normal. Cousland grinned more as he continued to keep his eyes shut. “I know you are watching me, my dear. The appropriate question is why? You’ve seen me when I wake up in the morning before. It’s not a pretty sight…”

“Oh, I don’t know…I kind of like the whole disheveled hair thing…”

“Hey, I spend quite a lot of time trying to keep my unruly hair….manageable…”

“But I like it like this…” she said running a hand lazily through his short dark blonde hair. “It gives you a tactical advantage.”

“How so?” he asked curiously as he finally opened his eyes.

“It makes you look dumber than you are. People underestimate you.”

He glared at her. “You once told me not to listen to you. I think I will do that now.”

As he closed his eyes, he folded both hand behind his head. Pretending to be annoyed, he remained silent as he contemplated her teasing. If she could do that, then perhaps she really was better. He knew he could never replace the family she’d lost, nor would he try. Instead he would give her what he could…

Suddenly he felt someone leaning over him. He opened one eye to see Elyssa smiling down at him. “Yeeeeessss?”

“You know I love you right?”

“Uhhh, I don’t like conversations that start out sounding so ominous…”

“I’m glad that you’re taking somethings more seriously, but you needn’t worry, Alistair…I just wanted you to know I don’t usually have emotional breakdowns.”

He opened both eyes and moved his hands to her waist. “You are a remarkable woman, Elyssa. But even you are allowed to feel…scared and vulnerable every once in a while…Just know I will be there to do whatever you need.”

She kissed his cheek as he pulled her down on top of him. “Are you sure you are alright? I mean as much as you can be considering everything…”

“Just because I cried doesn’t mean I’m broken…just bent. So please don’t start treating me like I’ll break.”

“Of course, my dear. I would never dream of bringing your wrath against me,” he said cupping her cheek. With a grin, he added, “You can be quite scary sometimes.”

Elyssa pinched his arm causing the other Grey Warden to flinch in pain. “Heeey, did you really have to do that?”

“No,” she said, straddling him as he realized what she was doing.

“Blossom, what are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Yes, well…You are certainly causing something to happen…ummm, down there.”

“Hmmm, you’re cute when you are embarrassed.”

“Is that why you do it to me so often?”

“Well, yes but I was wondering if you well, I, if we…oh never mind,” Elyssa said as she rolled off him. The sheets slipping off her, revealing the oversized shirt she had worn to sleep in.

As she turned from him she felt a hand slid from her hip to her thigh tentatively. She froze as Alistair whispered in her ear, his chest to her back. “I do want to be with you, Lyssa. But not here, not after what you told me last night…We will be together, but I must deal with the ideas some people have about my future first.”

“Alistair, don’t do anything you’ll regret.”

“I’m not, blossom. I’m just going to pay closer attention to others and start making some plans of my own,” he said pulling her to him. “I was hoping you might help me with that…”

She glanced over her shoulder at his smiling face. “You need a shave and a haircut.”

He frowned. “I don’t know. I was thinking about keeping it like this. Might keep people from recognizing me.”

“Maybe…but could you trim it a little?”

“What? You don’t like my beard?”

“I didn’t say that…Just a little shorter?” she asked turning to face him. “Please, my prince?”

“Your desire is my command,” he said as he kissed her. She laid her head on his chest. “We should prepare to leave…I think we should discuss things away from here, unfortunately.”

She reached for his hand. “I’m not trying to make you choose between the Arl and myself or make you turn against him. I just…These things happen, and I wanted you to know…”

“I know that, blossom. I trust you with my heart and my life…I hope you trust me the same—”

“I do…It’s just…what you’ve told me of your life…I don’t want to make decisions for you.”

“I defer to you on Grey Warden matters but us—we make the decisions together. As for the kingship, I want you involved but ultimately it will have to be my choice I suppose.”

“I understand that…I just wish it could be different…”

“I know, but then I wouldn’t have met you.”

Elyssa looked into his hazel eyes, knowing that their meeting was one of the few bright spots in the months since Ostagar. “We will just have to make do with what we have, my good ser.”

He cocked his head. “You make me sound like a consolation prize at an arling fair.”

“Oh, but what a prize you’d have been. All the maidens would have been fawning over you in Highever. It would have been fun to watch.”

“Watch? You wouldn’t have joined in?”

“Hmmm, no. It was never really of interest to me. I was enjoying the weapons exhibitions. My mother said I would never land a husband doing so. Of course, she had done the same thing in her youth, being a shield maiden…The consensus of the nobility was that I was not suitable for marriage.”

“Interesting…The nobility use to say I’d never find a woman willing to accept me unless I paid her because I was a bastard.”

“Well, we’ll just prove them all wrong then.”

“That’s my wonderful warrior goddess.”

“Alistair,” she said blushing.

“Ah, your turn to be red then, I see,” he teased as he pulled them both into a sitting position. “As much as I’d love to stay here like this, we do have a Blight to stop amongst other things. So, we really should start getting ready.”

Elyssa made a pouty face as she said, “But I was comfortable.”

“Well, maybe we’ll just start using one tent then. Less to carry…And much warmer at night too.”

“Are you sure you were raised in the Chantry?”

“Well, sort of. I lived in a barn and then was schooled by the Chantry and then handed off to the Order. Would you like to meet some of the Templars that used to tease me for being a bastard?”

“Ah, no…but I’ll hold you to the one tent thing.”

“Really? I was jesting really.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“Okay, you’re right I wasn’t.”

“Good. So now we can make Morrigan more ill than we already do.”

“Hmmm, good point. Remind me to make a big deal about that when we camp tonight. I want to see her face…”


	5. If Today Was Your Last Day

Alistair awoke in the middle of the night to an empty tent. As he reached out for where Elyssa should have been he found nothing. The bedroll was cool to the touch indicating she’d been gone for some time. The Grey Warden rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he sat up. _Where are you, Lyssa?_

Ever since they had returned to the surface from Orzammar, she’d been withdrawn, at least in private. As their defacto leader, she still made decisions with an air of confidence she always had. But to him, he could tell that something was bothering her just below the surface. They had secured two of the three treaties and cured the Arl of Redcliffe. But something still troubled her. Even his presence at night did not seem to offer the comfort it once had.

The ex-Templar peered out of their tent to find her sitting by the fire. She was leaning against a log as Sten kept watch some yards away, seemingly oblivious to her presence. She wore her hair down as she stared blankly into the fire. Alistair momentarily retreated back into the tent and grabbed the blanket from their bedroll. It was chilly, but Elyssa didn’t seem to notice. Alistair shook his head as he pulled on a shirt and walked softly over to the noble woman.

He knelt beside her and wrapped the blanket around her bare shoulders. She made no indication that she even knew he was there. Concern overcoming him, he leaned down to her level. “Love? Are you alright?...You weren’t in the tent when I woke.”

She shook her head _no_ as she continued looking at the fire. Her long auburn hair fell into her eyes creating a makeshift veil as the fire light bounced off of them. Sten turned to look at the two and moved further away as if to give them what privacy he could. Alistair nodded his thanks to the Qunari as he continued to worry over the other Grey Warden.

“Would you like to talk about it? I’ll listen if you don’t want me to say anything…I _can_ do that occasionally,” he offered with a small attempt at humor. Normally his jokes even his bad ones revealed a grin or snicker out of her. This time it did not. That caused him to worry even more.

Alistair sat on his knees as he moved to place his hands lightly on her shoulders. She flinched under his touch as he frowned at her reaction. She had never shied away from his touch even when they had first met, when they weren’t even friends yet, just a novice grey Warden and a brand-new recruit.

He moved to sit in front of her, blocking her view of the campfire. He finally saw that she had been crying. Silent tears where falling as she finally looked to meet his gaze. He cupped her face with both hands as he wiped away the tears. He looked at her with concern as she sat silently, her eyes full of anguish.

“Blossom, what is wrong? I need to know. Please, tell me!” he pleaded with her. He’d never seen her in such a state before. The only other time that was even close was after he’d given her the rose which had reminded her of her mother’s garden. But she had been willing to talk about it then. Now…he had no idea what to do or say.

He brushed her hair out of her eyes as she finally moved. She placed a hand on his chest and said softly, “Ali…”

She’d only called her that once before and had been during their first time together. Now he knew that there was something wrong. All he could say was, “I’m here…”

Elyssa bit her lip and then leaned into his arms as she let out a sob. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her holding her tightly as if to shield her from whatever was haunting her. Wishing to do something, anything he asked again, “Elyssa, please, tell me.”

“I…I don’t know what would have happened if Duncan hadn’t been there…or if you hadn’t drug me away from the darkspawn on that tower so Flemeth could rescue us…”

He looked down at her as he stroked her hair. “Love, you’re here now, with me. We will defeat this blight and we will be together.”

He felt her grip his shirt tightly as she said, “That’s not…I know that…I believe that…but in the Deep Roads…what happened with Branka’s whole house…why would someone do that? The horrible things those people went through because of her…”

Suddenly everything made sense to him. Somehow she was equating what Branka had done to what Howe had done to her family. The betrayal, the horrible deaths of innocents, wasted lives of soldiers for one man’s twisted ambitions… But there was something else. She had already dealt with some of her pain. Something was genuinely scaring her.

“Elyssa, I don’t want to ask this but are you haunted by what happened to the women of Branka’s house?” he asked slowly as he pulled back just enough to see her face. The fire light flickered across her beautiful features as she nodded. Her blue eyes looked terrified.

“Ali, she let the people she was responsible for die or become Brood Mothers. What if…Grey Wardens are supposed to do whatever is necessary. Does that mean you do that to the exclusion of everything that makes one human? If that’s true, then they forget why they are fighting, what they are fighting for. Branka thought she was doing the right thing for her people, but she wound up of destroying her house and herself. Loghain thinks he’s doing the right thing for Ferelden. Howe thought he was protecting his country from the Orlesians because my family had too many ties to that country…”

“Whoa, stop right there. Howe is a power-hungry madman using fear and rumor to get what he thinks should belong to him. He’s using Loghain to further his own agenda, feeding on his paranoia. He’s an opportunist who invented a reason to attack your family. You can’t really believe that you are anything like any of them. You are a good, honest, compassionate, skilled woman who will always do the right thing. You didn’t become a Grey Warden for the glory. You did it because it was the right thing to do and Duncan knew you would be the best of us. I know you are.”

She looked at him in disbelief. The tears finally dried, but he still couldn’t understand why she didn’t believe him. She had never shown doubts like this before. Maybe that was the problem. She’d kept everything bottled up unlike him, who wore his heart on his sleeve most of the time.

“How can you think you might be like them? I didn’t know your parents personally. I heard many people talk about them though and how they wished the rest of Ferelden could be like Highever. I even wished I could have gone there and disappeared when I was growing up in the Chantry. Maybe no one would have known who I was then…But you lived there…You are what everyone strives to be. A good woman and your parents made sure that you were…Never forget that.”

“You have a responsibility to honor their memory to the best of your ability and I know you can because you already have a good start at it,” he looked down at the hand she still rested against his chest. He knew he was starting to turn red as he admitted, “You have already inspired me to do my duty and if that means becoming king then I will do it to save Ferelden. But I want you with me no matter what happens…”

She looked at him, confusion and longing across her features. He gently caressed her face as he continued, “Each day is a gift, and not a given right.”

Elyssa cocked her head as she listened to the very serious and very right words that came from the man she loved. He could see that she was starting to really think about what he had been saying.

_“Leave no stone unturned,_

_leave your fears behind,_

_and take the path less traveled by._

_The first step you take is the longest stride._

_If today was your last day,_

_and tomorrow was too late,_

_could you say good-bye to yesterday?_

_Would you live each moment like your last?_

_Leave old pictures in the pastDonate every sovereign you have?_

_Would you visit old friends you never see?_

_Reminisce old memories_

_Would you forgive your enemies?_

_Would you find that one you're dreaming of?_

_Swear up and down to the Maker above_

_That you finally fall in love_

_If today was your last day?”_

Elyssa regarded him quietly as he locked eyes with hers. He moved his hand to hold hers as she closed her eyes. She exhaled slowly as Alistair waited patiently for her to gather her thoughts. Cousland finally opened her eyes and squeezed his hand. “You believe in me that much?”

“Of course, I do, blossom. I did before I even fell in love with you…You are an incredible woman,” he admitted knowing that once again he was blushing.

“What…what was that verse that you recited?”

“Ah, um just an unsanctioned excerpt from a book the Chantry doesn’t really recognize. It was written to compliment some of the Chantry teachings, but they don’t see it that way. I’ve always liked it though. I wasn’t a very good Templar. You may have picked up on that,” he explained as she brought her other hand up to his face.

“Maybe, but you’re a very good man. One I never thought I’d find,” she replied as she grazed a thumb over his lips.

Alistair dipped his head as he said, “Well, you did _find_ me as it were and I’m a better man for it…”

He trailed off as she cocked her head. “So somehow despite all your rambling, nonsense, and chattering, you always know what to say and I am better for it.”

He chuckled as he grazed her lips with his. “That’s what I’m here for delivering bad news, witty one-liners, and bits of wisdom frowned upon by the Chantry.”

He felt her smile as he pressed his mouth to hers lightly. She responded by wrapping her arm around his neck. The male Grey Warden dropped his hands to her waist and pulled her closer to his chest. As they ended the kiss she laid her head on his shoulder. He continued to stroke her hair as she said, “So do you…think that I over reacted?”

“What? No, my dear, you just have a tendency to hold things in perhaps more than you should. I think maybe you should let it out more than you do. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You aren’t to blame for everything that happens…”

“So, I should just take it one day at a time…’

“Well, yes. Just know that whatever happens I love you and will always support you and be there for you, my love.”

“You’re too good to be true sometimes…”

“Just think of me as gift from some unknown person or something…I think that sounded better in my head…”

She giggled and whispered, “If you’re a gift, does that mean I can _unwrap_ you?”

“Maker’s breath, woman! You are incorrigible,” he said kissing her forehead. “But I’ll have it no other way.”

She looked up at him with the smile he had missed. “So, would, my lady, allow me to take her back to her tent?”

“Only if, my prince wishes it,” she teased as he frowned.

“I’m never going to live that down, am I?”

“No.”

“Fine. Then you won’t mind if I do this,” he declared as he scooped her up in his strong arms and took her back to their tent. She protested weakly as the flap shut behind them.

Sten glanced back at where they had been just moments before. He allowed himself a very small smile as he whispered, “Take what you can from this life, kadan, for each day could be your last.”


	6. Not Our Enemy

“Are they very many elven Grey Wardens? Or even dwarves?” Lyssa asked as they trekked through the Brecilian Forest. 

They were attempting to obtain the last of the Grey Warden treaties and this one was proving to be just as difficult as the others. A conflict between a clan of Dalish and the forest itself. Werewolves and a centuries old keeper had not been on the list of things to deal with. As they searched for the Spirit of the Forest Lyssa’s mind had been busy thinking of other things. Alistair had told her of some things regarding the Wardens, but she still had questions. 

The novice warden looked back at her. “Yes, there are of both. You unfortunately did not have the opportunity to meet them. Duncan had wanted more time to recruit from those peoples but Cailan’s decision to make the push at Ostagar prevented him from doing it.”

She watched as he looked ahead again, his shoulders slumping slightly. “Having more time and men may have made a difference.”

“_Loghain_ is the one who gave the order to retreat. _Howe_ is the one who is using him for his own ends,” Cousland stared firmly. “They will be dealt with. Those that have died because of them will be remembered and will have justice.”

Alistair glanced back at her again with a halfhearted grin. “I hope you are right, Lyssa.”

“Of course, I’m right,” she replied light heartedly, not being able to stand seeing him down because of an innocent question. “I’m a woman and I’m the leader since you are afraid of losing your pants.”

“I like them on them on. Thank you.”

“That’s not what you said last night or the night before or—"

“I get the picture, Lyssa. But that is only for you.”

“It better be, my prince.”

“Maker, will it ever end!?”

“No,” she replied simply with a grin. Not if she had anything to say about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

As their luck would have it, the solution to the Dalish clan’s problem was not as cut and dry as their Keeper had alluded to. It turned out his unnaturally long life was connected to the werewolves and the Lady of the Forest. In seeking retribution against humans that were responsible for the deaths of his children, the Keeper bound the Spirit of the Forest to a wolf. The end result was humans infected with lycanthropy who then turned on the elves. His own people now infected, he sought to destroy the original werewolf, Witherfang, and use its heart to create a cure.

Of course, the truth had come out in the end, a fight had resulted, and a choice had to be made. Finally, Zathrian had seen reason and ended the curse. His life ended while his clan was free of the affliction. The werewolves turned back into humans, the elves cured, the Forest Spirit as it was meant to exist, and a treaty secured. What truly set Elyssa off was the fact that none of had to have happened. The humans could have left the elves alone all those years ago. Zathrian could have sought justice against only those humans responsible. The werewolves could have not attacked the clan. No one would have needed to die. Zathrian had let his grief turn to rage and harmed his own clan in the end.

Was she going to do the same thing? Would her need to see Rendon Howe brought to justice hurt those she cared about? Would she let her grief over the deaths of her parents, Oriana, and little Oren consume her until nothing recognizable was left? What of the fate of her brother? She still did not know if he lived. Would she let that mystery fester until all she wanted was someone to pay for what had been done to her family? Would she stop caring about everything else? Would she forget everything that her parents had ever taught her? That being noble born meant that you had even more responsibility to those around you. That you owed them compassion, protection, kindness, justice, fairness.

“You seem far away, my dear warden,” an Antivan voice called to her. She turned to find Zevran leaning against a tree, slicing up an apple. “You are causing our other warden to worry.”

Cousland blinked, looking around. She had not realized she had wandered away from the others. Their camp just outside the edge of the Dalish’s encampment. Dusk was fast approaching by the light filtering through the trees, as Zevran chuckled, “Your dear Alistair is unsure whether to follow you or not. I volunteered. Unsolicited of course.”

“I needed time to think,” she replied weakly knowing the rogue was not going to fall for the simplistic answer.

“Yes, well, I think we could all use some time after this…whatever you would call this,” the Antivan Crow commented as he chewed a slice of apple. “However, surely a better location could be found. Now Antiva City? That would be a wonderous place to forget ones troubles. Perhaps stirring up some new ones but it would be less mentally demanding. Now_ physically_? _That_ is what I would enjoy very much right now.”

“Maker, Zev! Really? You are thinking of sex? Right now?” she asked exasperated.

“I spend a great deal of time thinking of sex. There is much to be gained from such acts, more than just the obvious…Stress relief is one,” he explained cheerfully offering a slice which she declined. “Now you and Alistair…I suspect you benefit from a feeling of protection, contentment. Knowing you are safe.”

Elyssa eyed him. “_This_ coming from the man who tried to kill me when we first met.”

“Yes, well. What can I say?” he replied with a shrug. “You have a certain effect on people, my dear warden. In my case it has been for the better.”

“You really think that?” she asked quietly.

“Yes. Do you not?” Zevran stated with a smirk, finishing off his apple.

“I have my doubts how I will handle things in the future…”

Zevran laughed much to her surprise. “What is so humorous? People have died—”

“Many at your own hand but not without cause,” the elf noted. “But those that you are worried about dishonoring could never be. _You_ are not our enemy, my dear friend.”

“Zev—”

“Alistair waits for you,” the Antivan said with a smile as he walked back to camp.

Elyssa watched the assassin walk away wondering how he had become so wise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alistair watched as Elyssa readied for bed. They shared a tent and had for a while now. The teasing from the others was still present but had slowly diminished. At the moment, the usually joking warrior did not care. He was solely focused on the woman who had won his heart. Something he still did not believe had been possible yet there she was. Plain as day in front of him unbraiding her hair wearing a shirt she had borrowed from him and continually forgot to give back.

“You are staring again,” she called suddenly, eyeing him with a grin. “You have that look like you want to say something, but you won’t.”

“You know me too well, I suppose,” he replied with a shrug. “That or I am just an open book for anyone to read. Though it would be a boring book.”

She made face at him, setting aside her brush. “You know that is not true…Well, you are easy to read sometimes when you are passionate about something. But you are far from boring.”

“I know several people who would disagree and then tell you _exactly_ what I _should_ do,” he muttered, averting his eyes to their packs laying in the corner.

“Zev just talked to me, Ali. He can be annoyingly perceptive sometimes,” Elyssa offered as she moved to sit in front of him.

“What?” his attention snapping back to her in confusion.

“When he came after me, I didn’t want you to think that he and I…”

“Oh…_OH!”_ Alistair exclaimed as he realized what she thought was bothering him. “No, I—That’s not what I thought…I trust you…”

He watched as she tilted her head. “Then you…Of course you…”

Cousland sighed as she glanced down at her hands. Chewing her bottom lip, she began again, “Everything that we’ve faced in order to get the treaties, it’s made me realize the lengths that some people will go to get what they want…Some people simply want justice for their people or family, and it turns into something awful. So many people were hurt that didn’t have to be. I don’t want to become like them…Howe and Loghain should pay but not at the expense of innocents.”

She finally looked up to see Alistair smiling tenderly at her. “Blossom, you could_ never_ be like that. You are not like that. And before you object, yes, I love you but that is not the reason I know. I know because I have seen you agonize over making the right choice. I have seen you suffer in silence when you wish you could have done more. I have seen you mourn those you could not save. You are not our enemy. You never could be.”

The bastard Prince watched as his love let her guard completely down and reached for him. He moved forward, taking her in his arms, holding her close. She did not cry but instead clung to him tightly. He kissed the crown of her head as she whispered, “Can I really do this? Can we really end the Blight _and_ the civil war?”

He stroked her hair. “I once thought that I couldn’t ever be happy, that I could never find a place I felt I belonged, that I would never find love or be loved. If I can find all that, then surely we can end a Blight and stop a Civil War. You know, two Grey Wardens, a dog, and a band of misfits. Who would doubt that?”  
  


He heard her give a small giggle. She always laughed at his jokes no matter how horrible they were. Or at least she groaned with a smile. He cherished each reaction, each time he could help lighten her load. Now was no exception. He lifted her face up to look at him. Kissing her forehead, he said, “We both have duties and decisions to make in the coming months. But I think…I think I have a better understanding of what to do. Of what _should_ be done now.”

“Alistair?” she said uncertainly.

“That night at Eamon’s I told you I needed to start making my own plans. I’ve watched how you do things, how you talk of what your parents prepared you for,” he explained. “I don’t have any practical experience at being a noble or whatever, but I want to make a difference. I want to do what is right.”

“Have you made a decision yet?”

“No, not exactly, but I realize that simply ignoring an option instead of carefully considering it is stupid,” Alistair replied as he leaned in, nipping at her neck. “Granted, I still will complain…”

“_But_,” she said knowing he was trying to distract her.

He trailed kissed up along her jaw. “I will consider all my options and make a decision but _how_ I decide to carry out that decision will be on my own terms.”

He pulled away quickly. “With your input of course.”

“Of course,” she echoed with a grin.

“I will not do anything without you at my side, Elyssa Cousland. On that you have my word.”

“You are plotting something, Alistair.”

“I suppose I’m not so subtle about that am I?

“No, but it makes things interesting.”

He laughed as he kissed her nose. Pointedly not saying anything else.

“You aren’t going to tell me, are you?”

“No, not yet,” he replied as he hugged her. “I will but I need to talk to someone first.”

“Ali?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll love you no matter what you choose.”

He squeezed her tightly. “And I you, Blossom. Always.”


	7. 30 Years

Elyssa awoke with a start. It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last. The Archdemon plagued her dreams and had since the Joining. Alistair assured her she would get used to it and it was worse only because there was an actual Blight. Despite his best intentions it only helped so much. The threat remained.

She no longer woke up screaming, thrashing about as if clawing her way out of the deep roads. It felt like that still, but she had a better handle on it. She still woke breathless and in a cold sweat. She had steadily learned how not to wake Alistair. He had dreams too, but the intensity was not always consistent with hers. Stilling herself and keeping her breaths measured usually kept him from waking. Acting as if she were naturally rolling over in her sleep helped when she could manage it.

Elyssa had attempted as much this night but failed. And she knew it. She sensed Alistair silently watching her from his side of the bedroll. She closed her eyes tightly hoping he would go back to sleep, but she knew it was futile. It was Alistair. He would not rest until he discovered what bothered her, and he had done his level best fixed it. She loved him but somethings couldn’t be fixed. She was a Grey Warden, only now coming to understand all that life truly entailed.

The noble felt the blanket shift as Alistair spooned up against her back. His large calloused hand moving to rest on her hip, his thumb rubbing lazy circles along the fabric of her shift. In a voice so soft she almost didn’t hear it, the former Templar said, “You needn’t hide from me. I know words and jokes cannot solve everything but I…I _am_ here.”

She knew Alistair was more perceptive than he let on. She had underestimated him, just as she had accused others of doing. “You’ve known the whole time, _every time_.”

“Yes.”

“Ali, I—”

“I thought you didn’t trust me at first. I was angry that you didn’t tell me…” He explained softly. He squeezed her hip. “But then I realized you didn’t want me to worry. I love you for that, but I will _always _worry about you regardless.”

Finally, she rolled over to look at him. “I _know_ that, but you have so much to consider. I don’t want you to have to carry more—”

“Blossom,” he began cupping her cheek. “Everything I have to consider _involves you_. All of my choices. All my decisions involved you. And I would gladly carry you—physically or metaphorically anytime.”

She found herself smiling, his honesty and sincerity wiping away the lingering visages of the nightmare. “You are too good to be true.”

“You are the first to ever say that,” he replied kissing her forehead. “Are you alright?”

“I…will be but…There is so much to being a Grey Warden I didn’t know about when Duncan saved me,” she admitted. She had never voiced her reservations to him before, not wanting to question Duncan’s actions. With what had passed between Eamon and him previously, Duncan was far more of a father figure to the other Grey Warden and she did not want to do anything to tarnish his memory. Yet she still had doubts.

He caressed her cheek with his thumb. “You weren’t exactly recruited in the normal manner, love. There are many things recruits aren’t told until after the Joining for good reason, but you weren’t even told those.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Be that as it may, I am not sure _I’ve_ been told everything either. You know, being a novice Warden and all.”

She regarded him bitterly, despite her best efforts. “The possible dying during the Joining, the Taint itself, feeling the darkspawn, nightmares with Archdemons, being next to barren, and the Calling? Who wouldn’t knowingly sign up for that?”

“Blossom, I’m sorry…”

“It’s the duty that cannot be foresworn.”

The words from the Joining ritual rung hollow in the stillness of their tent. Despite that she said, “My father knew his duty. Just as my mother and brother did. They all faced it honorably until the last. I can do no less.”

“They would be proud of you.”

“So, my duty ends with our current plight, some random encounter with dark spawn months or years from now, or the Calling in the Deep Roads…”

“That’s certainly a bleak outlook,” Alistair noted., concern etched in his expression. “Many Wardens live to see the Calling. That’s at least 30 years from now.”

“That’s 30 years less than we could have,” she snapped indignantly.

Alistair paused in his caress. She closed her eyes unable to look at his stunned expression. Shame filled her as she felt him withdraw his hand. He was experiencing the same things as she. The only real difference was his formal induction into the Wardens and having been able to serve with others.

“If all this darkness hand not occurred, if everything had been perfect, I would not have met you. I would not have fallen in love with you…Perhaps that sounds selfish but I have the Wardens to thank for having 30 years give or take with you. I am certain I would have had nothing otherwise. Whatever time I have in this world I am grateful to the Maker I will be allowed to spend it with you, Elyssa Cousland.”

She desperately wanted that to be enough to quell her doubts, but one still lingered. “But I can’t have children now. If you become king—”

“Then I become king and you will be with me,” he said firmly. “It’s not impossible to have children, just incredibly difficult.”

“But—”

“There is a story amongst the Wardens that an elven Warden had a child. She had to give it up, but the story is there,” he interjected as he watched her closely, trying to give her some nugget of hope to hold onto.

“It could be just a story, yes…But Duncan was the one who mentioned it…Odd really looking back. It was out of the blue…He thought keeping my parentage secret from the other Wardens was best but drops that bit in…”

“Do you believe it?”

“I believe in Duncan and all he stood for.”

“But—”

“He always had a reason…Maybe it was simply to show me we all make sacrifices or something else, but I don’t know…” he offered with a shrug.

She looked up at him. Smiling cheekily back he said, “If we don’t have a child, it certainly won’t be from a lack of trying.”

She felt her face flush even in the darkness of their tent. Swatting him she scolded, “Alistair, you’re incorrigible.”

He kissed her. “You would have me no other way, my lady.”

Drawing her into his protective embrace, Elyssa knew he was right. Despite the darkness that threatened to consume them, they still had each other for 30 years or whatever time the Maker blessed them with. She would not waste them.


	8. Duty

“You have a duty to your father, Alistair. You are the last of his line. Ferelden needs a ruler. Calenhad’s line must not be broken.” Arl Eamon Guerrin stated firmly in his study in the Denerim estate. He had made the same argument since they had begun preparation for the Landsmeet.

“I was told my whole life I would never be King or even recognized as a Theirin. And now only when Cailan is dead do I get let into the family.” Alistair bit back, very well aware that Eamon meant to provide his counsel expecting it to be followed without question.

“This is about more than family, Alistair. You have a duty to Ferelden as Maric’s son.”

“He’s no father of mine. I’m just a bastard, an inconvenience, an embarrassment until needed. Now I’m expected to clean up a mess made by family that never wanted me.”

“You are sounding like a petulant child, Alistair. You know your duty. I raised you to—”

“You raised me? You did keep a roof over my head, I was fed, I was clothed. I had a room—a real one—until I was inconvenient. Then I slept in the barn with the dogs. I was carted off to the Chantry when Isolde couldn’t stand me any longer. I should be thankful you did the bare minimum. You kept me off the streets. I am grateful but that only goes so far.”

Alistair paused, drawing himself up to his full height, remembering the inner strength Elyssa always insisted he had. “I am not that boy craving attention and hiding how hurt he was when you or anyone explained me away as simply an obligation. You have your family. They are safe now thanks to Elyssa. And now I know what family feels like. I know it’s worth fighting for.”

“Elyssa Cousland is a Grey Warden—” Guerrin countered as expected, but Alistair was ready.

“As am I! And if the Wardens have taught me anything, it is the value of loyalty and the true meaning of duty. I know my duty that my blood obligates me to follow. If fate had me follow that path, I will do my duty for my own reasons, on my own terms.”

“That is not how things are done, Alistair. You know this—”

“Then maybe they should be,” Alistair mumbled as he turned his back on the Arl. Walking out of the study, he ignored the older man’s calls for his return. He was too angry and disappointed to continue to talk to the man he had once thought of as a father. Since joining the Grey Wardens, he had come to realize how truly awful his childhood had been and could not see Eamon as he once had.

He wandered the halls of the Arl’s Denerim estate aimlessly. Alistair had never been there before but still felt as if he were a child simply looking for a place to hide. He had done so many times in Redcliffe when he felt useless, unwanted, and alone. Ignoring everyone, he somehow found himself outside Elyssa’s door. By accident or some subconscious effort, he was there. Knocking on the door he heard a muffled, “Enter.”

Alistair entered the room, finding her dressed in the finest clothes he had ever seen her in. The Arl’s house maids had provided her with noble attire akin to his. She, of course, looked more the part of a noble than he ever thought he could. He stood unmoving as she said curiously, “I thought you were meeting with Eamon. The others are taking advantage of being in civilized surroundings again. I am just thankful for a real bed. I never knew how much you could miss such a thing.”

She trailed off when she noticed he hadn’t moved or said anything. “Ali?”

The note of concern lacing his nickname broke him out of his trance. He quickly bridged the distance between them and wrapped her tightly in an embrace. He heard her gasp in surprise. He clutched her to his chest in a grip like she would disappear otherwise. He kissed her temple. “He says I should be King simply because I have Theirin blood. I have a use now so I should perform a duty I was told my whole life I wasn’t worthy of.”

He felt her wrap her arms around him. “Do you think you could be king?”

“Blood seems to be the only requirement—”

“No, Ali. Do you think you could be king? A real one, not a puppet?”

He looked down at her. “If you asked me that a year ago or even a few months ago I would have said no. Now, after everything I’ve seem and done…Yes. Yes, I could…Etiquette would definitely been an issue though.”

“Alistair—”

“He doesn’t think I can really do it…On my own that is. That I need…guidance.”

“I don’t care what he thinks. What do you think?”

“I think I should do it for my own reasons, _my_ way if I did…”

“Then you have your answer. Eamon can’t do anything of substance without you. Use that to your advantage.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “You are on my side right?”

“Always, Ali. Always.”

***************

“You exercise considerable influence over Alistair it seems. He is the senior Grey Warden, yet he defers to you, Lady Cousland.”

“Alistair was the lowest ranking Warden under Warden-Commander Duncan’s command. It is my understanding that Alistair has never been allowed to hold any sort of rank affording him leadership. If that is the case, I understand his hesitance to lead the charge to end the Blight and possibly the Civil War.” Elyssa made sure to mention Alistair’s lack of responsibility and status hoping it would help to drive her point home with the Arl. The would-be king was not as incompetent as the Arl made him out to be and was more than able to rule in his own right.

“Alistair does have deficiencies in certain areas that are important to a King but those can be corrected. He can be instructed in those lessons after ascending to the throne. Our focus at the moment must be assuring he assumes the throne with or without Anora.” The Arl seemed content with explaining away the fact Alistair had been told he would never be king by simply saying he needed lessons.

That wasn’t good enough for Cousland. She knew he could do so much more than the Arl gave him credit for and it irked her the elder man continued to treat him as if he were less. “You propose to present Alistair to the Landsmeet either on his own or through a union with Anora. Then instruct the man on how to be a king after winning over the Landsmeet. A bold gambit, but who would instruct him? Who would be trustworthy enough to provide such council?”

“There are many who can provide the necessary day-to-day instructions on behavior, etiquette, and the like. Major decision making, policy making, dealing with the nobility, politics…These are areas Alistair will need the most council and instruction in. A union with Anora would prove most beneficial in that area. She has the experience and temperament. However, I can provide council just as well. Alistair just needs a gentle push from someone whom he trusts to do the right thing.”

“And that person is me?” Elyssa asked hiding her true feelings as her mother had taught her. Information was more important at this time than a yelling contest with the Arl.

“He trusts you to make decisions for the Wardens. You are also of noble birth and know the demands and sacrifices duty of that rank demands.”

“I know all too well what being a Teyrn’s daughter means. You do realize that Alistair has been told his whole life he would never have a chance at the throne.”

“I am aware, but these are extraordinary circumstances. Alistair is a good lad and will do what is right. He simply needs to be told and he will do it.”

He would do what he was told to do. The Arl still deemed him a child to be ordered about. “I understand the importance of this decision and the gravity of the situation. Duty must always come first…I will talk with Alistair. You have my word.”

“I am aware of the sacrifice I am asking you both to make. But Ferelden must come first. You parents would understand that. Alistair will be well taken care of. He simply must become king and we will take care of the rest.”

Eamon was aware of their relationship then. He was subtly hinting for her to break it off with Alistair. He even indicated that her parents would urge her to do the same thing. He was wrong. He had to be.

“As you say, Arl Eamon. For Ferelden.”

********

Elyssa Cousland was indeed a noble born, a Teyrn’s daughter. But she was also her mother’s daughter. For all the feminine things Eleanor had attempted to force on her daughter, she had also instilled a strong sense of individuality. She also imparted a sense that doing the right thing did not always mean doing the conventional or popular thing. Fergus had taken that to heart when he had married Oriana, an Antivan noble. Her mother had been a shield maiden in her youth. Elyssa had no intention of forgetting those lessons now.

The Grey Warden kept her composure as her parents had schooled her to do. No one was to know your true thoughts, your inner conflict, your emotional state. A picture of calm to any who encountered her. She remained that way until she reached her room. The sun had set, and the house servants had kept her fire going.

Closing the door and bolting it, she turned to find the nearest loose object. It just so happened to be a blue vase decorated with floral accents. Unfortunately for the ceramic, it fell victim to Cousland’s temper. Flinging it clear to the other side of the room, she watched it crash to the floor. Letting out a string of curses, she searched for something else to throw.

Instead her eyes fell upon the man she was angry for. She had told him she would talk to the Arl when he had summoned her after dinner. She would be calm and collected, seeing if the man could be reasoned with. And now she was throwing things.

She took a breath. “Ali? What are you doing here?”

“I thought to wait for you but instead I find you destroying the room the Arl gave you,” Alistair teased.

“He deserves it!” she snapped turning from him to face the windows. “It doesn’t have to be this way. He speaks of duty and sacrifice as if only he knows it. As if the rest of us haven’t ever—As if duty to one’s family or to the ones we love doesn’t matter!”

Elyssa grew quiet, not knowing how to tell Alistair he had been right. That she couldn’t change the Arl’s mind. She stared silently at the broken vase, unable to help the thoughts plaguing her. Did duty always have to demand a sacrifice?

“I take it your summons to the Arl went no better than mine?” his voice called to her with only a trace of humor.

She said nothing. What was there to say? Discussion with the Arl of Redcliffe was not going to work. Talking would hold no sway with Eamon or Loghain and certainly not Howe. Anora was another matter. She might be more open to discussion. Elyssa knew her well enough to think something could be arranged if things went that way…

“Blossom, I know I normally talk enough for the both of us, but usually you groan or chuckle or something somewhere during it,” he noted as she heard him approach from behind.

She averted her eyes as he stood beside her. She had promised to support his decision but the prospect of losing him to the crown…He had said she was included in any decision he made but the closer the Landsmeet was, the more her own doubts and insecurities rose to the surface. Feeling herself shake, she fisted her hands. If she threw anything else, he’d worry more.

“Elyssa, love? You are beginning to worry me,” Alistair said as he moved to stand in front of her. Taking her hands, he pried open her fingers to lace with his. “What happened?”

“We—We can’t be together…” she whispered. She should have told him about taking the throne first, but she felt like being selfish. Their little dream of staying together was just that—a dream. Duty demanded sacrifice and Alistair would be hers.

“He actually said that?”

“No, but the implication of his words was clear. He said he was aware of the sacrifice he was asking us both to make,” she replied angrily.

“Don’t I get a say?” he asked lightly. “What happened to doing it my way and using Eamon’s need of me to our advantage?”

“How? You…You have a duty—”

“Maker’s breath! I know my duty, maybe more than anyone here. I’ve done what I’ve been told to do my whole life and now the woman I love is trying to tell me what to do. I thought when you loved someone you did things _together_. Not order them around,” The anger in his words was reflected in his expression and how tightly he held her. “I thought we would do this_ together_—_our_ way.”

She felt the tears fall unbidden. She was selfish, weak. She did not want to loose Alistair, not after all they had been through. Her emotional dam broke as she began openly sobbing, wrenching her hands from his to grab at the other Grey Warden desperately.

“Lyssa, what is wrong?” he asked in bewilderment, any traces of anger gone. She continued to sob without a response as he pulled her tightly to him. “Maker, what did Eamon say to you?”

“He—You—” Cousland tried to start but could not find the words. “I can’t…”

“Lyssa, you can tell me. I will always listen. You know that. You have my heart. I love you.”

Instead of bringing relief to the noble woman, she began crying harder, her grip on his tunic becoming tighter. Shaking like a leaf in the wind, she could give him no coherent answer. As doubts overwhelmed her, as the shadow of duty fell over them, Elyssa barely registered being lifted and carried to the bed bridle style. Nor did she realize she was being tucked into bed. All she did know was Alistair never left her side.

``````````

Elyssa woke up much later. By the looks of the moons outside the window, she had been out for several hours. After that, she noted that her head laid on something warm, something familiar. She blinked her eyes and slowly rolled onto her back. Hazel eyes greeted her as a familiar hand stroked her cheek. Alistair gazed down at her tenderly. It was then that she realized her head was pillowed in his lap while he sat against the headboard in her room.

Memories of what had transpired earlier in the day flooded back. Anxiety, dread, hopelessness threatened to consume her again. Alistair must have sensed her emotional turmoil because he said, “No. Not going there, love. We are together and you aren’t allowed to think otherwise. I won’t stand for it.”

She looked up at him somewhat dumbstruck. He sounded like he was teasing but serious at the same time. Only Alistair could do something like that. “But—“

He grazed a thumb over her lips silencing her protests. “I said I will not stand for it. Would you go against the will of your King?”

“No, of course not, but you aren’t—” Sleep no longer a factor she bolted up right. “Alistair, what did you do?”

Remaining calm, he smirked at her. “I told you I needed to talk to someone before I made my final decision. I did talk to them or rather they lectured me. I rather like your lectures though…The makeup sessions are enjoyable, but back to what I did…I made my decision with your help actually.”

“Me? Eamon said that—”

“That I should be king,” Alistair finished for her as he stroked her hair. “He said other things, but I have decided to ignore them. They are horrible, terrible ideas, really.”

Elyssa remained quiet as she bit her bottom lip. It wasn’t going to be what she wanted. She knew that but still he had said together. “Blossom, I will make a bid for the throne at the Landsmeet. I will do it because it’s the right thing to do. Because I cannot stand by and let a man rule out of fear while another tears our nation apart for the sake of power and selfishness. We can stop them and prevent it from happening again. At least in our life time. I _want _to do this.”

She nodded. “I understand.”

He grinned, shaking his head. “No, I don’t think you do…I told you I would do this on my own terms and with you. I promised you that.”

“Alistair, you can’t—”

“I can! Don’t be someone who tells me what I can’t do now. Not after everything we’ve been through,” he pleaded as he shook her gently. “I can’t do this without you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I would have you at my side, Elyssa. Not hiding as my advisor or mistress. I would have you as my Queen,” he explained. In a lower voice, he added, “As my wife.”

Her eyes widened but all that came out was a protest. “You need an heir. Eamon would object. Anora could—”

He silenced her with a kiss. “Maker’s breath, woman! I want to marry you and you all but say no. _Why?”_

She shook unable to offer any answer.

He kissed her forehead. “I love you. I want to be King for the right reasons. I want to marry you for the right reasons. I _can_ do this. We can be together and make a difference for Ferelden’s people but only if we do it together. My duty isn’t dictated only because of Maric’s blood; it is what I have learned, what I know is right. My duty is as you said to the ones I love as well. And I love you.”

Cousland cupped his cheek with a shaky hand. “I want that too.”

“It will be hard, and I will need guidance…as always,” he replied with a grin.

“Eamon can—”

“Can go back to Redcliffe and tend to his Arling. I have another advisor in mind. I might even share a bed with her.”

“The King and Queen have separate chambers, Ali.”

“That might be why Cailan and Anora had issues.”

She thumped his chest. “Not nice.”

“Neither is Anora.”

They stared at each other for a long while. Finally, Elyssa said quietly, “Ask me.”

“Be my Queen.”

“No.”

“Be my wife.”

“Yes.”

  



	9. Loop Hole

Elyssa stood outside the study of Arl Eamon Guerrin listening to the dressing down the man was giving his King. Even though the coronation had not taken place yet, Alistair was for all intents and purposes the King. Anora had been dealt with and now the Arl was trying to salvage what he thought needed to be salvaged. Of course, Alistair argued that his way was right, and he had accomplished everything that needed to be accomplished. Everything save the archdemon had been dealt with but definitely not the way Eamon had intended.

It wasn’t enough that the dark spawn horde had devastated the village of Redcliff and was marching on Denerim. The Arl was still on about _how_ Alistair should be King. His way or no way. He had spent his life telling Alistair he would never be King and now he needed him to be, but only if the Arl pulled the puppet strings. It was infuriating how manipulative the older man could be about a man who had been denied his true parentage his whole life and now wanted him to dance to his tune.

Elyssa let out a very unlady-like growl. She had enough of her own issues to deal with but to hear the conversation only added to it. The Landsmeet had decided who would be the next person on Ferelden’s throne, Loghain had met his fate, and Howe had finally paid for his betrayal. The one-time friend of the Cousland’s had died by her own hand. His last words showing his true colors. He deserved more. He thought he had deserved more. He had killed her family, hunted her, betrayed his king, turned his own people against each other, and painted the Grey Wardens as the cause of the failure at Ostagar. He had paid but was that enough? Did it make things better? She didn’t feel any better.

_“Well look here, Bryce Cousland’s little spitfire. All grown up and still playing the man.”_

_“I thought Loghain made it clear that your pathetic family is gone and forgotten.”_

_“Your parents died on their knees. Your brother’s corpse rots in Ostagar. And his brat was burned on the scrap heap along with his Antivan whore.”_

_“And who’s left? A fool husk of a daughter likely to end her days under a rock in the deep roads.”_

_“Even the wardens are gone. You are the last of nothing. This is pointless. You’ve lost.”_

She squeezed her eyes shut tightly. Howe’s last tirade echoed in her mind over and over. The Arl’s critical attack on Alistair’s choice to take her as his Queen did not help matters. She felt her heart begin to race as their voices carried beyond the wooden door into the hallway.

“Alistair, you must see reason. Elyssa Cousland is a Grey Warden. She has other obligations.”

“I am a Grey Warden and I am _very well_ aware of such obligations. We still have a Blight to stop. An archdemon to slay.”

“You are the future of Ferelden. You must stay alive.”

“So what? I send Elyssa off to fight the Archdemon by herself? If the Blight continues and the Archdemon runs amuck, there will be no Ferelden to rule!”

“Alistair, you ended the Civil War and you must ensure its future. You must ensure the Theirin line continues—”

“_Stop_. I will not listen to what ever scheme you have in mind to oust Elyssa! She is my choice_! My choice!_ I will not give her up when she meets all the requirements for Queen plus _I love her_, and she loves me. _That is enough_.”

“She cannot produce an heir—”

“You don’t know that and its none of your business—”

“It is my business when you are jeopardizing the future of Fereldan before you are even officially coronated—”

Elyssa felt herself begin to shake as she opened her eyes. She would not listen to the Arl any longer. He said the same thing over and over. She had heard it since the results of the Landsmeet were made official. She wasn’t good enough. It only echoed what Howe had said. She wasn’t good enough to continue her line, she wasn’t good enough to be a Warden, and she wasn’t good enough to be Queen. How was she supposed to do anything then? Why had she been spared? Why was she even there?

She walked to her room, shutting it loudly behind her. She needed to be alone. She was alone. Maybe it was better that way. Maybe Alistair was wrong. Even with his well-meaning intentions, he might have been wrong. She knew they loved each other but nothing seemed to be able to be the way they wanted. Was it selfish to want something for herself? To want to be with Alistair? To want to be able to make a difference? To make her family’s fate not be in vain?

She mashed the palms of her hands against her temples willing the negative thoughts to leave her. She had come so far, met people that cared about her, helped fixed the problems caused by Loghain’s fear and Howe’s power-hungry treachery, ended a Civil War, fell in love and was to be his wife and Queen. They still had a Blight to end. Riordan had been up front with them about the cost and the possible outcomes. She did not want to spend the last few nights she might have in this world worrying about things that might not even come to pass.

She had faced too many what if’s in the past and overcome them to let new ones control her. She was stronger than that; she had to be. Alistair and so many other believed in her. She could believe in herself. She had before and wouldn’t let a dead man change that. But how…

The door to her room opened and then closed quickly. She automatically knew it was Alistair. Who else would enter her chambers without announcing themselves? Zevran possibly, but he would be flirting as he did so. Alistair not so much. She didn’t turn to him, keeping her eyes closed, facing the windows. She felt him come to stand behind her. He said nothing as he rested his hands on her shoulders.

Elyssa could sense the tension and his frustration just by the way he touched her. Apparently Eamon had gotten to him just as he had her. The Arl just would not accept that Alistair had made his own mind without his input.

“I hope you are day dreaming about being with the most handsome king ever,” he said in what sounded like a forced tone.

“Something like that,” she murmured wishing for all the tension, anxiety, uncertainty to go away.

Alistair squeezed her shoulders gently. “Eamon is set to return to Denerim within the hour. The armies have started gathering just outside the capital. We will be departing in the morning to follow them.”

She nodded. She didn’t know what to say. They had been over all of it before. Eamon was just attempting to stir up something between them to make Alistair reconsider his choice. To reconsider her.

“I told Eamon my decision was final. I would not accept anything else, anyone else,” Alistair said instead as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “He actually presented me with a list of all the eligible nobles women to consider…I burned it in front of him.”

She grunted in mild amusement. “The Arl must have been thrilled with that. Handpicked by him I’m sure. He probably had it drawn up as soon as he knew you would have to assume the throne.”

“See? Just planning my future for me again. Not having to make my own choices is easier but…” the Grey Warden paused. “I think I like making them myself. The results are so much more interesting.”

“So…this is interesting?” she said quietly opening her eyes to look out the window. The afternoon was quickly turning to evening.

“Yes,” he murmured into her ear. “But what I hold in my arms is precious to me. I will not see it lost or taken away simply because it is politically inconvenient.”

She felt herself frown. “I’m an _it_ now? Is that Eamon’s doing or yours?”

“What? You an_ it_? I would never call you that,” he said lightly as he nipped her ear. “Eamon’s far too polite to call you that to your face anyway. He just wants things his way.”

“And _you_?” she asked rolling her head back against his shoulder.

He chuckled. “I want things my way and that starts with reassuring you once again that I want you. I want us together. I want to be king and I want you as my wife…which of course means you’ll be Queen.”

She let out an audible breath as he squeezed her again. “Do you have the patience to keep doing that?”

“Patience to reassure the woman I love that I love her? For a lifetime?” Alistair asked with a grin. “Of course, I do. I can be annoyingly stubborn like that.”

“Good because I think I am going to need that,” Elyssa replied leaning into him more.

“Elyssa, I love you. I will always love you. No matter what happens. I meant what I said. I will spend whatever time the Maker blesses me with at your side. I will always be yours,” Alistair replied.

“I love you too, Ali,” she whispered as they continued to stand in front of the window ignoring all the things around them. For just a few moments, all was right, and the future was bright. If only that could become reality.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alistair had left Elyssa in her chambers with the promise to return soon. He had said he needed to attend to somethings, kingly business and all. It had been true, but he had also wanted to clear this head. The truth of how an archdemon was slain weighed heavily on them both. He had no desire to talk about it with Lyssa. She worried enough as it was.

Venturing outside he wandered the lower ramparts of the castle, watching as storm clouds gathered off in the horizon. Flashes of their time together since Ostagar came to him. How could he have come so far just to be presented with the off chance of losing it all? Was that what being a king was? Or even a Grey Warden? Riordan planned to take the killing blow, but anything could happen. He couldn’t lose Elyssa…

A sound of boots shifting against stone caught his attention. Off to the side, hidden in shadow as always was Morrigan. “Oh. There you are.”

“It is,” the Witch of the Wilds uttered as she glanced at him, leaning against the stone wall. Her golden eyes reflecting the torch light. “You’d be best to keep your guard up…while enjoying yourself of course.”

Alistair rolled his eyes. “Only you would think that planning an attack on a dark spawn army and killing an archdemon would be fun. Not to mention my betrothed just killed the man who murdered her family and Arl Eamon wants me to marry someone other than the woman I love. This has been the most wonderful party I have ever been to. I really must take notes for my coronation celebration.”

Unmoved by his sarcastic words, Morrigan gestured to him. “Most your age would spend much of their time pre-occupied wondering when they might perish. Yet you already know.”

“Oh, that’s funny,” Alistair snapped as he walked passed her. “Such cruelty from such a beautiful woman. If you hear me sobbing later, that’s me crying myself to sleep.”

Morrigan pushed off the wall as if to follow him. “Consider the possibility that Riordan may not be there to make the final blow as he plans, what then? Do you run away?”

“We don’t know what will happen tomorrow. Riordan could end it,” the Grey Warden replied as he through his hands up in the air. Reluctantly he added, “Or both of us could die before we get close.”

“You do still intend to kill your target, do you not? Is your reputation not on the line?” the apostate mage pressed, seeming eager to make some sort of point or simply needle him as she always did.

“I…I’m going to get some sleep now,” Alistair felt his blood boil. The woman really had no clue what he was feeling. What Elyssa was feeling. Angrily he said, “We are done talking about this.”

“You…_love_…her.” Her words were of someone who had just realized that it was possible to feel something for someone, to being willing to sacrifice yourself to keep them safe. How could she have never understood that before.

“Big surprise!” the king-to-be exclaimed as he whirled around to her. Locking gazes with her, making her understand, he went on, “Do you care what anyone thinks? Not unless they can do something for you, I’m sure…No. I can see that. You don’t care what anyone thinks. I’d be happy if I thought you cared about anyone other than yourself. With you…who needs the darkspawn?”

Morrigan sputtered as if she were in shock at her own words, “I…I care...”

“Oh, I get it,” the Grey Warden mocked, not willing to take anymore from the mage, no matter if she were sincere or not. “This is the part where we’re shocked to discover how you’ve never had a friend in your entire life.”

“Only one…” Her words rang out quietly in the dark as he turned back to the door. He didn’t care. The only one he cared about was inside the estate fighting her own emotional battle.

“Alistair!” Morrigan called once more, desperately if he were honest with himself. “If I could do something terrible to aid…Must I?”

“…I suppose we could use all the help we can get.” Was all he said as he entered the estate. He would waste no more words on the mage that had always thought of him as less than dirt.

“Alistair,” her voice called through the closing door. He paused just long enough to see the dark-haired woman drop to her knees. “...weakness...You will regret this…and so will I. And perhaps this is how it must be…”

As the heavy door shut, Alistair could not help but wonder what the mage had meant. She considered Elyssa a friend. If that were true, what did that mean and what did she seem so convinced they would regret? He could conceive of no greater regret then Elyssa dying because he could not protect her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I have a plan, you see. A way out. A loop in your hole,” Morrigan said after she had said she needed to talk to Elyssa alone. Alistair had not come back yet and the Grey Warden was sure the mage had planned it that way.

Elyssa shrugged. “Need a little more than that, Morrigan.”

“I know what happens when the archdemon dies. I know a Grey Warden must be sacrificed, and that sacrifice could be you. I have come to tell you this does not need to be,” the Witch of the Wilds elaborated with her usually cryptic words. “I offer a way out. A way out for all the Grey Wardens, that there need be no sacrifice.”

Cousland arched a skeptical eyebrow. She knew Morrigan was a powerful and knowledgeable mage. She also knew the dangers of magic and her own limits. But this seemed too good to be true. “Supposing there is a way, what does it entail? What’s the catch?”

“A ritual …performed on the eve of battle, in the dead of night,” Morrigan said with a hint of empathy. “I would not suggest this to just anyone, Elyssa. You must know that…I consider you a friend. My _only_ friend.”

“Morrigan, it doesn’t have to be that way…The others are willing to be your friend if you would allow it,” the Grey Warden noted with a half-smile. “You can have more—”

Morrigan shook her head. “’Tis is not about me. Your life is the one in danger. I offer my friend a way out…What we speak of is old magic, a ritual from a long time before the Circle of Magi was ever created. Some would call it blood magic, but I think that means little to one like you.”

“Morrigan, what’s the cost?” Elyssa asked, feeling suddenly wary of the offer.

“One I am more than willing to bear,” the mage stated firmly. “It is a ritual I learned from Flemeth, of course. I have known about it for some time.”

“So, you knew about the sacrifice before Riordan told me?”

“I did. Would you have believed me if I had been the one to tell you? I have my doubts.”

Elyssa pursued her lips. As manipulative and knowledgeable as Morrigan was, she was also a very observant person. It was how she knew exactly what to say to get under Alistair’s skin. “Alright. What is the ritual exactly?”

“What I propose is to convince Alistair to lay with me here, tonight. And from this ritual a child will be conceived within me. The child will bear the taint, and when the archdemon is slain, its essence will seek the child like a beacon. At this early stage, the child can absorb that essence and not perish. The archdemon is still destroyed with no Grey Warden dying in the process.”

Elyssa balked at the proposition. _Sleep with Alistair?_ They could barely even stand being in the same room with each other. “I’m sorry. I thought you said Alistair. Don’t you mean Riordan?”

“No, it must be someone who has not been infected with the taint for very long. Riordan does not meet that requirement,” Morrigan said patiently. “Alistair does.”

“But…you hate each other.”

“That means little here,” Morrigan replied. “I simply need what only a man can supply…”

Her expression softened just a fraction. “I do not wish to take him from you, Elyssa. He is yours. As little as I understand it, he will still be yours. The ritual will not effect that.”

Elyssa nodded deciding to move on. “So, the child becomes what? A Darkspawn?”

“Not at all. It will become something different: a child born with the soul of an Old God. After this is done, you allow me to walk away…and you do not follow me. Ever. This child will be mine to raise as I wish.”

They were silent for several long moments. Cousland finally said, “I need a little while to consider.”

“Do not take too long my friend. It must be done tonight, or all will be for naught,” Morrigan said as she left the room. “I do not wish to lose my friend…And Alistair does not wish to lose his love.”


	10. One More Night

Alistair Theirin, now king of Ferelden, laid upon a bed that was not his, nor Lyssa’s. One of the fabled Witch of the Wilds currently wore less than she normally did yet there was no urge to tease or taunt her now. The daughter of Flemeth had presented the Grey Wardens a way to live beyond the fight with the Archdemon. A way to have the life they both wanted to desperately. But of course, there was a price.

As the raven-haired woman sauntered over to him she reassured him in the most Morrigan way he could think of. “You will not suffer during this, Alistair…’Twill not be as horrible as you imagine.”

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. His heart hammering in his chest. He had never wanted to be with anyone aside from Elyssa. He had never wanted to have a child with anyone aside from Elyssa. Now, to assure that they had a future together, he had to sleep with another woman and produce a child. Morrigan had promised that the child would not come back to haunt them nor would they ever seek the throne.

While the witch seemed genuine in her words, the fact that he would be having a child with someone else tore him up. One of the biggest issues for them right now was the fact Grey Wardens producing children was incredibly difficult. But beyond that, he was sleeping with another woman and Elyssa knew it. She had practically begged him to agree to the rite. He closed his eyes. It was to keep her alive.

“Can…Can we blow out the candles? I can’t—”

“Of course, Alistair,” Morrigan whispered. “Whatever you think of me, know that your words from earlier have not fallen on deaf ears. Elyssa is my friend and I will see her protected. You make her happy and I do not take what we are about to do lightly. If there were another way, I would—”

“Just…Just get this over with,” he replied through gritted teeth. He took a breath. “I…need her to live…I would do anything for her but—”

“We will be done shortly, Alistair,” Morrigan assured him once the light was banished from the room. “You have my assurance I will keep my promises and you_ will_ keep Elyssa.”

````````

_“You can’t sleep? Are you alright?” Elyssa asked as she closed the door behind her. She had returned to his quarters once she had discovered Alistair was not in hers. _

_“Not really. All these men look at me and…I see it in their eyes. I’m their king. Suddenly it feels so real,” he replied honestly as he crossed his arms. “I made the choice to follow this path, but it still feels so foreign, I was always told I’d never have a chance at the throne yet here we are…”_

_Elyssa gave him a small smile. “I know that the path ahead will be difficult…I still have my own doubts, but I know that you will be an amazing king.”_

_“Only because you lend me your strength. You made me realize I could be more than what others said I had to be,” Alistair said as he caressed her cheek, his eyes full of love. His expression turned to one of seriousness as he continued, “Lyssa, I…I took a walk earlier. The weight of everything is almost crushing…I stumbled across Morrigan. She said somethings…Then I saw her lingering outside your quarters…”_

_“Whatever she said to you, she was probably just attempting to get a rise out of you, Ali,” she said softly, knowing he already suspected something was amiss._

_He arched an eyebrow letting Cousland know she was right. “I’m tired but I’m not stupid. What did she want?”_

_She took a breath. The truth would be the best. He had always appreciated that about her since the beginning and she would not change now. Not if they were to have a future. “Alistair, we need to talk.”_

_“Oh, I guess whatever Morrigan had to say, it’s big. This is what I get for becoming king. Everyone always brings you the bad news,” Alistair replied with exaggerated motions, rubbing his hands together in front of him as if to start working on something. “So, what is it then? Rats running amuck? Cheese supplies running low? I can take it.”_

_“I love you. You know that right?” Elyssa asked quietly, knowing that was only going to add to his dread._

_“I do and I feel the same. But…why tell me now? Why so ominous all of a sudden?” he asked suddenly standing to his full height, all signs of humor gone._

_ “I need you to do something you won’t like.”_

_“I don’t care for the sound of that. What are we talking about exactly?” Alistair asked as his expression turned to disgust. “You aren’t going to ask me to sort through nug dung again looking for one of Sandal’s rune stones are you?”_

_Elyssa rolled her eyes, feeling impatient with her herself and annoyed at his jokes. How could she tell him what Morrigan offered? How could she ask it of him? “What if I said there was a way to avoid dying tomorrow?”_

_“You mean with the archdemon right? If you mean running away, I can’t do that,” he replied firmly, his brown eyes searching her for any hint of what she was getting at. Furrowing his brow, he continued, “But you don’t mean that, do you? What is this all about?”_

_“I need you to take part in a ritual,” Cousland answered carefully, trying to remain calm and collected as she had been taught since birth._

_“Oh? Something Morrigan cooked up no doubt. This ought to be good,” he commented, amusement returning to his tone. “What do you need me to do?”_

_For once his jokes didn’t help. Losing her cool, she blurted out, “I need you to sleep with Morrigan. As part of a magical ritual.”_

_Alistair roared in laughter much to her continued annoyance. “That’s pretty funny. All right. Now tell me what’s really going on.” _

_She said nothing, simply staring at him with the look of someone who might pound him into the ground any minute. “You’re…not joking. You’re actually serious. What…sort of magic calls for sex with Morrigan? What’s this ritual supposed to do?”_

_“It’s for the battle tomorrow.”_

_“That’s a little vague…” he noted as he narrowed his eyes. He shook his head. “You’re not actually asking me this are you? What kind of ritual is this anyway?”_

_“It will save the life of whoever kills the archdemon,” she admitted as she felt her stomach turn in knots. She was really asking him to do this. To sleep with another…_

_“Ah. I can see how that…might be important,” he noted flatly, not looking away from her._

_Elyssa offered softly, sure she looked utterly pathetic as she spoke, “It’s some kind of ancient magic. Flemeth’s probably.” _

_“Well, that’s reassuring…Wait. No, it isn’t,” Alistair stated in almost an accusing tone. “What _else_ is there, Lyssa? There’s something else you haven’t told me.”_

_Damn his perceptiveness. Damn her selfishness for wanting to keep him alive no matter the cost. “I won’t lie to you. It will produce a child.”_

_“What!!! I…I must be hearing things, but you are telling me to impregnate Morrigan in some kind of magical sex rite?...This…child…Why would Morrigan want such a thing? Does she want an heir to the throne?”_

_She flinched at his exclamation. She knew he would react something like this, just not quite like that. She mumbled, “I think she wants to make some sort of Old God.”_

_“Oh, well that’s _so_ much better, don’t you think? Here I was, worried about another bastard heir and I didn’t even consider that it might also be some dragon…god…whatever!” He yelled as he began crossing the room to a chair by a desk. He was visibly angry even considering the idea and the possible repercussions of it._

_She remained silent letting him attempt to settle down as he sat in the chair. It took a little longer than she had thought. She heard him exhale sharply before he turned back to her. “Look, even if I’m willing to consider entertaining this idea…and I’m not saying I am…is this really what you want me to do? Are you sure?”_

_“I’m sure about this,” she spoke up firmly as she came to stand beside him. There was no hesitation in her response which gave Alistair pause._

_“No, I can’t…I can’t do it,” he finally replied locking gazes with her, his expression one of how the request had hurt him. “You can’t ask me to do it, not like this.”_

_Elyssa began to tremble. Everything she wanted hinged on him agreeing. She didn’t know how she would face a life without him, not after everything they had been through. “Please, Ali. I can’t lose you too.”_

_“Oh. Maker, Lyssa,” he said pulling her shaking form into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly to his chest. He cradled her head against his shoulder as he murmured, “I can’t lose you either, blossom…Is there no other way?”_

_She began to sob against his chest as she uttered between sobs, “No…I…Please….I can’t…It hurts to ask you…but it would hurt more to lose you….I can’t—"_

_ “So that’s how it’s going to be is it?” he whispered into her ear, a slight hint of amusement in his voice. “I suppose I’ll just have to live with the fact you have me wrapped completely around your finger. Alright. I give. I’ll do it.”_

_“Ali, I’m sorry…”_

_“If it keeps you alive, what choice is there?”_

``````

Elyssa had not left Alistair’s room. She had taken up residence on the fur rug in front of the fireplace. She cared not that people talked about the fact she was with the King, that they were both Grey Wardens, or that she should step aside for another woman. She—_they_ had made their choice. They would face tomorrow together no matter the consequences.

She knew rumors about their relationship had begun shortly after Arl Eamon’s recovery. The more the Arl fought the rumors the more they spread. Some held that they were star-crossed lovers destined to be parted. Other sung of the romantic nature of their tale, how it was the stuff of fairytales. Elyssa didn’t want either. She wanted a life with Alistair and would fight for it.

The letter than had been delivered to her almost as soon as Alistair had left for Morrigan’s room had ensured that she would never listen to the Arl of Redcliff again. Long ago he had been a trusted ally and councilor to King Maric and then to a degree Cailan. He had sheltered Alistair, but she did not see how that entitled him to run the kingdom from behind the scenes. Things were different. She knew of the war to free Ferelden. Her parents made sure she and her brother were well-versed in the Rebellion’s history. But they were not fighting Orlesians now. A civil war had been ended and now a Blight needed to be dealt with.

_Warden Cousland (since you are no longer in a position to maintain you noble duties),_

_Your continued refusal to acknowledge the reality we all face it astounding. You have not only convinced Alistair that he should marry a woman with little chance at siring an heir, but you also have led him to believe he does not need guidance. How can you call yourself a noble, a Ferelden and encourage this? You were raised a Cousland, a family that embodies all that Ferelden is. Your parents would be very disappointed in your choices. That you have led the only possible ruler of Ferelden astray. I implore you to rethink your choices before it is too late. Bryce Cousland was a war hero who died protecting his family. He knew the true value of honor and duty. You are doing an injustice to him and his legacy. Eleanor knew the place of a lady and the duty of one born of noble rank. You shame her memory with your continued ignoring of her legacy. You are noble born and know your duty. For the sake of Ferelden, let go of your selfish fantasies and act as a Cousland should._

_Arl Eamon Guerrin of Redcliff_

She watched as the fire crackled. Elyssa had contemplated burning the note but realized she could use it to her advantage later. All she had to do was weight for the proper time. She would not tell Alistair of the note, at least not this night. Too much was at stake now to worry about the ramblings of an Arl who felt slighted. Her Alistair was doing something to ensure they both stood a chance of surviving the Archdemon. It was a price she never wanted to ask him to pay but he had…She would spend the rest of her life making it up to him however she could.

Elyssa allowed her thoughts to wonder, not wanting to think of what was occurring just a few rooms down the hall. Eamon had mentioned her father as an accomplished soldier but regulated her mother to a simply noble woman. Did he not know of Eleanor’s part in the Rebellion? Her family’s history? Her mother had been careful to keep that part of her past from both Fergus and herself but an uncle had been more than happy to recount the tail.

She had been 13 when she first heard the song _The Soldier and the Seawolf_ during one of their visits to her mother’s side of the family. Eleanor had been quick to silence those singing but Elyssa’s curiosity had been peeked. Her uncle Aedan, her mother’s youngest brother, had been all too happy to tell the two siblings of the young Eleanor’s adventures during the Rebellion.

They knew that Bryce had met Eleanor during the push to protect Denerim after Maric had recaptured it. They knew that he had proposed during Maric’s coronation. What they didn’t know was that they had met during the effort to bolster their grandfather’s fleet in preparation for the attack by sea on Denerim. With the help of Bryce’s soldiers, the crew on every one of their grandfather’s ships was doubled. Their father himself had been assigned to join Eleanor's ship, the _Mistral_. Their first meeting went so terribly that it was immortalized in the famous sea shanty called _"The Soldier and the Seawolf"._ Despite their first meeting ending in conflict, they worked well together. During the Battle of Denerim Harbor they destroyed a dozen Orlesian warships and soon became friends.

Her mother had been raised a raider and sunk her first Orlesian warship at the age of 15. She soon received the name Seawolf but both enemies and friends alike. She may have been noble born but she knew how to defend her nation and her family. She had done as much during the last time Elyssa had seen her. Choosing to stay with her father, Eleanor had lived up to the duty and honor she had known all her life. Eamon had thought he knew her parents better than their own daughter. He was wrong. She was the daughter of Bryce and Eleanor Cousland. The Soldier and the Seawolf. How could she do anything other than what she had been doing? How could she choose a different path? It was a difficult path but not one she would shy away from and not one she would let another determine for her.

Wondering if her parents were watching over her from the Maker’s side, she began singing the song her parents had inspired, hoping they were happy and at peace.

`````````

Alistair couldn’t leave Morrigan’s room fast enough. Wary of on-lookers he made sure no one was in the hall before he exited the witch’s chambers. The Maker must have smiled upon him because he encountered not a soul as he slowly made his way to his own rooms. The knot of dread still in the pit of his stomach. It was not over being with Morrigan now. No. This stemmed from how this would effect Elyssa. He knew she had asked him to sleep with the mage to ensure he stayed alive. She had said she could not lose him. It hadn’t been the first time she had uttered those words to him.

He leaned heavily against the wall next to the door to his room. How could fate be so cruel? He finally met the woman of his dreams, someone who saw the real him and wanted to be with him. But then he was destined to be king and more than that, to slay the Archdemon a Grey Warden had to be sacrificed. On the one hand he could marry Elyssa because she was noble, and no one could say a thing. On the other they were both Grey Wardens and were duty bound to end the blight no matter the cost.

Alistair was not one to complain about his lot in life; he had been subjected to unfairness all his life. But his relationship with Elyssa had been a turning point in his existence. He had learned what is was to truly be loved and love another in return. He learned how to stand up for himself and do more than simply exist. Accepting Morrigan’s proposition had been a choice made because of those reasons, because he wanted to keep her in his life. While she could not lose him, he could not lose her.

_The lion’s ships were Denerim bound  
Oh, drop him, Lady, drop him!  
Let the true king’s call for aid resound  
Just drop him, Lady, drop him!  
A soldier lad from the army came  
Oh, drop him, Lady, drop him!  
Leading thirty souls in Maric’s name.  
Just drop him, Lady, drop him!_

His thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of singing from inside his quarters. It was Elyssa. She had never left his room and she was singing. A sea shanty?_  
  
Turn him loose and let him go  
Down to the rocks and the waves below  
The depths can have that scurvy knave  
Just drop him, Lady, drop him! _

He carefully pushed opened the door to find Elyssa sitting on the fur rug in front of the fireplace, her legs curled underneath her. The firelight silhouetted her form as he closed the door behind him. The tune sounded vaguely familiar, but it still sounded odd to hear her sing it._  
  
When the soldier met the Mistral’s crew  
Not a word of their great deeds he knew  
And the Seawolf he took for a servant lass  
Great Andraste, what an ass! _

Alistair made his way to stand behind her, smiling at the last verse. His smile faded when he heard the crack in her voice as she began the next. She knew he was there._  
  
‘Fore the Seawolf’s ire, no man could stand  
Soldier felt his death was close at hand  
Two great steps back did he retreat  
And the cliff side crumbled 'neath his feet. _

He dropped to his knees behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. He buried his face in her hair as he felt her shake. Before he could say anything, Elyssa whimpered, “I’m sorry, Ali. I don’t care what anyone says…I can’t lose you.”

Alistair sat on the rug, pulling the sobbing woman into his lap. “I love you, Lyssa. I can’t loose you either. We have plans to get married remember?”

He felt her nodded against his chest as she clung to his tunic. He went on as he stroked her hair. “I am not going to leave you. I don’t know how, but I will not leave you. You’re going to be my wife…I never thought I would say those words. You have changed my life for the better, blossom.”

“Ali, I love you,” she whispered looking up at him finally, her eyes water rimmed. “I’m sorry that I asked but I—”

He leaned down to kiss her desperate to calm her doubts and fears. He kissed her over and over, offering words of adoration and assurance between them. She clung to his neck as he said, “What happened…It doesn’t change what I feel for you, what I want for us. It’s not…I still love you. I always will love you. You are the only one I want, the only one that makes me feel whole. I want to spend the next 30 years with only you.”

Alistair felt his own tears well up in his eyes. “No matter what happens tomorrow, know that I love you and only you.”

“Ali, you are…how are you so perfect?” Elyssa asked with a ghost of a smile.

“It’s a talent I only display for you,” Alistair smirked as he caressed her cheek. The pang of guilt in his chest slowly dissipating at the sight of her smile. “Now what was that song you were singing? It sounded like a sea shanty.”

Elyssa chuckled slightly as she nestled closer to him in his lap. “It’s called _The Soldier and the Seawolf_. It chronicles the first time my parents met. My father being the soldier and my mother being the Seawolf.”

“Wait…That’s about your parents?” he said in surprise. “Your mother was the fabled Seawolf the Orlesians feared?”

She nodded. “She never told my brother and I about that part of her past but seeing as how her father was Bann Fearchar MacEanraig and my uncle Aedan liked to talk, it wasn’t hard to put together. She was a raider just like the rest of her family, only she was the best.”

“What made you think of that?” he asked curiously still stroking her hair.

“I…am tired of people assuming they know me, know my family. That they think my parents would not be proud of me,” she admitted firmly. “I may be the last of my line, but the world will not forget the Couslands. I won’t allow it. I am not a disappointment, and neither are you. We define our future not anyone else.”

He paused in his ministrations. “Blossom, did something happen while I was…gone?”

She laughed. “Nothing that means anything. Just someone trying to change things that aren’t going to.”

Alistair opened his mouth to inquire further but was stopped when she tilted her head up and kissed him. He gave into her as she ran her fingers through his short hair. She pulled away just enough to say, “I’m staying with you tonight. I don’t care what anyone thinks.”

His hold on her tightened. “I would have it no other way, my lady.”

Elyssa yelped as he quickly scooped her up and moved to the bed. “You are all I want to remember…We march into battle tomorrow and even with what we have done…I…want one more night with you. If that’s all I can have, I want you to know you are already my wife in feeling if not in fact.”

She looked up at him. “That’s what I want. I want one more night with you. I will always want one more night with you. I am yours. Now and always.”


	11. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The remaining two Grey Wardens in Ferelden face the consequences of their decisions. Do they live the fairytale life or will reality reveal a cruel fate?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***This chapter is NSFW towards the end. Nothing overly graphic but you have been warned if that's not your thing.***

He thought he had been prepared. All the training, all the talking, all the ceaseless preparations and he had still not truly been prepared for what had just occurred. He knew how seriously Elyssa took her promises and her oaths. How serious she was about their relationship and their love for one another. He had expected her to attempt to talk him out of making the final run at the archdemon. He had been wrong. The love of his life had sucker punched him after kissing him and ran.

Staggering backward the former Templar recruit had watched momentarily stunned as Cousland darted off towards the fallen archdemon, still very much alive. The dragon writhed around on the ground, obviously greatly wounded but still capable of inflicting grievous injuries. Alistair watched as Elyssa picked up a discarded great sword clearly with the intentions of making for the dragon’s head. His heart pounded, the blood rushing in his ears. Everything else, all the fighting and screaming from below the tower of Fort Drakon disappeared. There was nothing but the sight of his love rushing head long towards the archdemon, willingly testing the consequences of Morrigan’s ritual.

Without a second thought, his shock overcome by the singular urge to protect Elyssa, the King of Ferelden ran. He ran faster than he had as a child from his noble tormentors. Faster than from Isolde’s irrational wraith. Faster than from those in the Templars that said he was nothing more than a bastard. Faster than he had from any of Loghain or Howe’s soldiers and assassins. He would not see Elyssa face the end alone if that was their fate. He had promised her a lifetime…

Somehow, perhaps only by the grace of the Maker, Alistair reached her before she drove the sword into the head of the dragon. Wrapping his hands around the hilt of the sword just above hers, his hazel eyes met hers. Their gazes locked, hers full of pleading while his reflected determination. She mouthed, _No Ali, please. _

He simply shook his head wearing a small smile. His only response was to say, _Together._

Alistair watched as her expression changed to one of understanding and love. _She understood_. He silently thanked the Maker that she understood that he didn’t want her to bear the burden alone, that he wanted this, to be with her no matter what the future held. They would end the Blight together.

In unison they lifted the sword and plunged the blade into the skull of the archdemon. The resistance they encountered was expected but the sudden stillness of the great beast was unsettling. He hadn’t truly known what to expect but his imagination had conjured the image of the dragon lashing about, causing them both to be flung around like rag dolls. Instead an intense light began emanating from the archdemon. Rays of white and yellow light shot forth from the point of entry of the great sword as both he and Elyssa continued to hold onto the weapon, unwilling to chance anything else unexpected happening.

As waves of incredible energy hit him, Alistair dropped one of his hands down the hilt to cover Elyssa’s. She looked back at him in silent understanding. Whatever was to happen next, they were together no matter what.

Suddenly the energy from the dragon came to a head. As it seemingly exploded from the archdemon’s body, Alistair remembered only two things: the fact the energy seemed to have an essence to it, like it was a soul of a sort and that he desperately reached for Elyssa only to be flung in the opposite direction. After that blackness took him.

````````

“Ali? Ali, wake up,” the familiar voice called through the fog. “Ali, this is no time to sleep! _Wake up!”_

He was sure the owner of the voice was the one shaking him as he realized he had a massive headache. “But I want another few minutes…Surely I’ve earned that…”

“**_Alistair Theirin!”_** the voice exclaimed in frustration as he felt his armor being wacked by something.

He opened his eyes to see the frantic expression of his love. He smiled, despite the headache as he reached up and caressed her cheek. “I suppose I could wake up, but we just slayed an archdemon and survived. Surely we deserve to sleep in.”

His armor was wacked again with a _thunk _as he watched Elyssa’s expression broke into one of relief and hesitation. “I…I…Are you really…”

He sat up, ignoring the pain and dizziness. Cupping her face, he kissed her hard. He felt her return it in desperation as he realized they both had indeed survived. He pulled away, making her look at him. “We are here, alive. And as much faith as I have in the Maker, I am very glad neither one of us are at his side just yet.”

He saw the tears falling down her cheeks which she pointedly refused to acknowledge. “I thought for a moment you were dead. You weren’t moving…”

“I’m a little worse for wear, blossom, but I am very much still alive,” Alistair assured her. “Just a little headache and a lot of darkspawn goo.”

He watched as she moved to straddle him completely ignoring the fact they were both still in armor and the rest of their party was more than likely still around. She put her arms around his neck as she whispered, “Ask me again.”

He cocked his head, momentarily confused by the request. The hopefully look in her eyes alleviating that confusion in an instant. “Elyssa Cousland, will you do me the great honor of being my wife?”

“Yes!” she exclaimed kissing him again.

“Oh, you do know you’ll be Queen then right?” he added between kisses.

“_Ali_,” she whined as he nipped her ear.

“Oh, alright, no more teasing for now,” he replied as he looked around, the cheering from below finally registering. “I suppose we should make our way back down and assure Ferelden they aren’t stuck with Anora…”

**********

After the battle, the impromptu celebration, yet another attempt at a lecture by Eamon, a rescue from said lecture by Teagan, and multiple congratulations from what seemed like half of Thedas, Alistair was finally able to retire. Despite Eamon’s urging that they remain at his Denerim estate, he and Elyssa had been ushered to the castle where they were given guest quarters until different arrangements could be made. Nestled away in one of the guest wings, the Grey Wardens as well as their friends had been granted quarters, all save Morrigan. The Witch of the Wilds was good as her word, gone as soon as the battle had been won.

With so much accomplished and so much yet to do, Alistair felt overwhelmed but hopeful. The future as King would not be easy; he knew that but having a clear path, one he had chosen, was worth it. Being a Grey Warden had been a choice. Elyssa had been a choice. Becoming King his own way had been a choice. And now he chose to ignore the etiquette Eamon had lectured him about and went in search of Elyssa’s room. There was no way he wanted to spend this night alone, not after everything.

As he quietly left his room in search of hers it turned out he did not have to go very far. After only a few minutes he heard a door open in front of him, Elyssa’s head poking out looking for witnesses to her escape. He grinned at her goofily as he caught her attention. She returned his grin and quickly motioned for him to came to her room. Sneaking not so gracefully to her room and closing the door, he made sure to bolt it behind him. He opened his mouth to say something but was urged aside by the noble woman carrying a chair towards the door. With no explanation, she waged it under the door knob.

Alistair gave her a quizzical look as she smirked, “I’m a noble remember? I know how nosey other nobles and servants are...When they discover you aren’t where you are supposed to be they will surely look here…or try to.”

He made no effort to stifle his laugh. “You will have the court in an uproar with stunts like this.”

“Oh? And you are going to be the model king I suppose? Planning on following Eamon’s advice to the letter now?” she taunted back.

He glared at her playfully as he sauntered over to her. She smell of wild flowers, not her usual scent but it was better than the darkspawn goo and blood they had been covered in just hours before. “Actually, I was under the impression that my Queen would be serving as an advisor in the arena. So, it depends on her example…”

“Ah, so I’m going to be the one to blame when the court doesn’t like your declaration on cheese being the national food of Ferelden,” Elyssa teased as he placed his hands on her hips.

“Now why, Blossom,” he began as he leaned forward and nipped the shell of her ear, “did you have to bring cheese into this? What did my favorite food do to you?”

“Nothing,” she whispered as he blew into her ear as she nearly went limp in his grasp. “It just gets more attention than I do sometimes.”

“Mmmmm,” he hummed as he began kissing down her neck to her collarbone. “Do I detect a hint of jealousy about my favorite food? Or perhaps you feel attention deprived?”

“Ali,” she whined as she tilted her neck to give him better access.

“Lyssa,” he replied as he pulled back, looking deep into her eyes. Being able to tease her after everything, nearly undid him. “I…I—Maker, I was so scared I’d lose you.”

“I was too,” she admitted as she buried her head in his shoulder. He felt her shake as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. They had been so close to losing one another yet Morrigan’s ritual had worked.

Alistair nuzzled her hair with his nose. “I just…Maker, I don’t want to think about what could have happened.”

She shuttered against him. “Just be with me tonight. Everything else can wait.”

He kissed her temple as he scooped her up in his arms ignoring his tired, aching body and carried her to the bed. “Anything for my lady. All you need ever do is ask.”

`````````````

Alistair rolled over in his sleep, a warm hand rubbing his back. He opened his eyes to see Elyssa leaning over him. The firelight from the hearth allowing shadows to play across her lovely features. Her eyes reflected the light showing a hint of desire as her hand ran up his arm to his chest. He felt the last vestiges of sleep evaporate as he took her hand and brought it to his lips. Kissing it lightly he asked hoarsely, “Does my lady wish something of me?”

“I want…” she trailed as she shifted to be closer to him.

He noticed her hesitancy, almost as if it were the beginning of their relationship. Surely she knew that nothing had changed between them that would cause them to part. If anything, they had more reasons to be together. They wanted to be together and had laid the ground work for that to happen. The former Templar recruit began placing gentle kisses on the pads of each of her fingers. “Tell me what you want, Blossom.”

“I didn’t mean…You should sleep…I shouldn’t have…”

“Lyssa,” he urged gently as he kissed her palm. “_Tell me_…I don’t want what happened last night to change things.”

There. He’d said it. It was out in the open. Now what?

He watched her closely as he waited for her reply. Holding his breath, he prayed that nothing had changed. That the ritual hadn’t cost him more than a bastard child he had been promised never to see. That was a sacrifice he had never wanted to make but to lose Elyssa after everything because of it…

“I want to…be with you again,” she whispered as she reached for his face. Using her thumb to caress his lips, she added, “I…I want to pretend it didn’t happen. That there was never anyone else. That I hadn’t asked you to do that.”

“Maker, Lyssa_. There is no one else,”_ he assured her, savoring the feel of her hand against his skin and the look of pure love in her eyes. It was all too much. Everything that had happened. Everything had yet to occur. The storm of emotions passing between them.

Alistair shifted and rolled to hover over her, using his arms to prop himself up. He gently let his weight bare down on her, pressing her into the overstuffed mattress. He watched as she gazed up at him with questioning eyes. As if to reassure her of his words, he moved a hand caressing her cheek. “There has _never_ been anyone else and there _never_ will be. I swear to you, Elyssa Cousland. You are stuck with my horrible jokes and inappropriate behavior for the rest of your life.”

She bit her bottom lip and smiled the same shy grin he had first seen at Ostagar after their initial introduction after the verbal sparring with a Circle mage. “I wouldn’t mind that at all.”

Alistair felt his heart soar at her words. Granted they weren’t an utterance of love or adoration at face value, but he knew what she truly meant. She had made it clear since day one she found comfort in his humor, his off-beat antics, his attempts to distract her anyway he could with the intention of making her smile. He loved her for it and knew that her admission was one of love.

The way she laid under him staring up at him with such an intense expression ripped away the last pieces of his usual control. His desire to prove that the night with Morrigan meant nothing to him, the urge to show her that she was the only one for him overriding his need for sleep and the dull aches and pains from the past few days. Alistair crushed his lips into hers as he dropped his hand to one of her breasts, kneading it through the thin material of her nightgown.

Elyssa responded by moaning softly into his mouth as she began writhing under him. He used his other hand to tilt her head just so in order to deepen the kiss, his tongue swirling against hers. She moved ones of her hands to cup his stubbled cheek at the other feathered through his short hair. He chuckled into the kiss as she tried to pull at his hair but found no purchase.

“Should I grow it out, blossom? So, you have something to pull when you are so hot and bothered?” he teased as he pulled back just a little.

She shook her head. “No…I like it like this.”

“As my lady wishes,” he whispered, his lips moving to leave a trail of wet kisses from her temple down to her jaw. He dropped down to kiss the pulse point on her throat causing her to sigh his name. He had always loved to hear her say his name in that way; it always let him know he was doing it right. He had never been with a woman before Elyssa and spent countless hours trying to learn how to please her, learning how to discern what she liked and what she did not. Now he knew exactly what to do but he was always eager to learn new ways to make her happy. Now he would have the opportunity to do so for the rest of their lives.

But tonight, he decided what he already knew how to do would be just fine. Something familiar and safe. The Grey Warden began kissing his way down her body as his hands found their way under her nightgown, slowly tugging it upwards. Elyssa responded to his silent requests as always. Raising up, she shimmied out of the gown with a grin. She laughed as Alistair flung it cross the room. He returned the grin as he nuzzled her in the valley between her breasts.

She squirmed beneath him, squealing out, “Ali!”

He grinned devilishly as he began making his way down her body again. Placing kisses long her stomach to the smalls she still wore. His fingers grazed the waistband of the material lightly as his thumbs drifted over her center. He looked up to see her eyeing him expectantly. Never one to disappoint his lady, Alistair slowly, carefully pulled her smalls away from her, placing kisses against the newly exposed skin with each tug. He felt her shiver as he felt himself become impossibly hard.

“Maker, Ali! Please!” she pleaded continuing to writhe under his touch. He knew he was smirking, but he couldn’t help it. He was always pleased when he could drive her crazy with a simple touch of his hand or kiss of his lips.

Despite the sense of pride that welled up in his soul, he would not deny Elyssa what she wanted most, what she needed. He tossed the pair of smalls across the room as he nudged her legs apart. She obliged him as he extended a finger into her core. He wiggled it a little and then curled it over and over, making no effort to hide the fact he was watching her react. It was one of the things he had come to love about their intimate times together. The way she always responded to him. It still amazed him that a woman wanted him and reacted to him in such a way.

She began panting as he removed his finger and lowered his mouth to her heat. He began licking her folds with the flat of his tongue, pausing now and then to listen to her moans. Pleased with himself once again, he flicked his tongue across her clit before sucking the sensitive bundle of nerves. Instantaneously, the noble woman bucked under his ministrations, crying out loudly as she blindly grasped for something to hold onto. His name echoed throughout the bedchamber as he continued.

Emboldened by her reaction he inserted one finger and then a second. Elyssa shook as he continued to lick and suck her core, stroking her inner self with the sole goal of making her come. Her breaths became erratic as her moans grew louder. Knowing she was close, he returned his attention to her clit, stimulating it as much as he could to encourage her to come undone.

At that instance, Elyssa shattered, her hips bucked wildly as she screamed his name. Alistair continued to lick her as she rode out the waves of pleasure until they subsided. Licking his lips, he glanced up and saw her head thrown back against the pillow as she took deep breaths trying to steady herself. Crawling back up her body, he murmured, “How was that for a beginning?”

“Beginning?” she questioned with her eyes still shut. “Is there more, my prince?”

Alistair snorted as he laid on top of her once again. “Don’t you mean _king_?”

She shook her head as she opened her eyes to look at him. “No. I mean _my prince_. King or not, that’s not how I know you. You were always Alistair and maybe not a true prince but in every way that counts to me you embody what a prince should be. What I wanted one to be when I was a girl and indulged in such fantasies.”

“So, I’m a fantasy?” he asked curiously.

She gave him a half grin. “You were but you are very real now.”

Alistair glanced up at the headboard with a goofy grin. “I’m what you used to fantasize about. That is an _interesting_ thing to know…”

He turned his gaze back down to her, mischief written all over his face. “I will definitely never forget that I am the _man of your dreams_.”

Elyssa sighed as she playfully punch him in the arm. “I should have never told you that.”

He huffs. “Then maybe I won’t tell you that you are the woman of my dreams.”

She smiled up at him, caressing his jaw with her fingers. Alistair felt as if his heart stopped for just a single moment. The gentleness in her touch enough to undo him. He closed his eyes as she raised up to kiss him, cupping his cheek. He felt her arch against him in an attempt to encourage more. He grunted as he returned the kiss, her need evident in how much she increased the intensity.

Knowing she would soon want more, Alistair began awkwardly removing his breaches and smalls without breaking the kiss. Finally shedding the clothing as she giggled, he tossed it across the room with her discarded garments. Settling between her legs, he groaned at the sensation of his member against her heat. “Lyssa, you are still so wet for me.”

“Only ever for you,” she murmured as she kissed his jaw.

Alistair lowered his head, shame washing over him unbidden. He rested his forehead against her shoulder, his breath becoming labored. He brought his arms around her, holding her to his chest tightly. In a hoarse voice, he said, “Lyssa, can you ever forgive me?”

“Oh, Ali,” she soothed as he felt her run her hands through his hair. “There is nothing to forgive. You did nothing wrong…I am the one that should be asking for forgiveness.”

Alistair shook his head, mouthing against her shoulder, “Can we…just do as you asked? Just move on?”

“Yes,” she replied kissing his temple. “I want to be your wife more than anything.”

He hugged her. “I want to be your husband.”

He felt a renewed wave of desire wash over him as she raised her hips to grind against him. In his ear he heard words that let him know she understood that she was the only one for him as he was the only one for her. He felt as happy as he had the first time they had confessed that they loved each other. He lowered his head to kiss her and then slide into her.

He heard her gasp as he began sucking on her bottom lip. He kept his pace slow as he moved to fill her core completely. He watched her for signs that she was ready for more. When she nodded slightly, he kissed her once more and then thrust forward, hilting himself within her completely. Slowly he began to move as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

“Ali, more,” she urged, using her legs to pull him against her with each of his thrusts.

Alistair grunted as he slid a hand between them searching out her clit. As he found the sensitive spot he began rubbing it in a circular motion. Dropping his head to her ear, he murmured, “I want everyone to know that we belong to each other by the morning light. Let them hear you, blossom.”

Elyssa moaned as his pace and his ministrations increased with abandon. He kissed a trail from her ear to her collar bone all the while mesmerized by the reactions of the woman who held his heart. He felt her inner walls closing around his member only serving to drive him closer to the edge. He knew his thrusts were becoming erratic as she met each of them with her hips, whimpering and moaning each time.

At last, she came undone, his name ringing out in the room so loud he thought half of Ferelden could hear her. His own end came half a second later as he released all of his essence into her. He moaned her name loudly as he thrust one last time.

He moved to slide off of her, but she clung to him as if he would disappear. Instead he collapsed upon her, enveloping her in his arms. He felt her trembling under him as he realized she found comfort in his weight on her. She had admitted after one particularly bad fight in the deep roads that she found it made her feel safe. They had fought a brood mother and discovered where dark spawn truly came from. It had been a horrible experience to begin with, but Elyssa had worried she might set their group down the path of Branka when it came to finding and punishing Rendon Howe. It hadn’t and he had assured her as much. But if being her big teddy bear (or Alibear as he thought of it) helped then he would do it.

They lay in silence for a long time, listening to the crackle of the fire and each other’s breathing. Finally, he felt her grip on him relax just enough for him to roll them to their sides. He pulled her fully against him as he rested his chin at the crown of her head. Thinking back to his last words, he asked with a smug grin, “Do you think they know now?”

She snorted as she nestled against his shoulder. “If they don’t believe that noise, they’ll believe my sword.”

Alistair laughed. “That’s why I love you. Fearless and intelligent and strong and compassionate. And you know how to handle the masses. Words or swords. What’s the difference?”

“With nobility? Sometimes nothing,” she replied hugging him tightly.

Alistair heard her sigh as he began stroking her hair. He had her in his arms. They were to be wed. They would rule Ferelden together. _Together. _That was a reality now. The Blight and the Civil War and Howe and Loghain behind them. Only their future together in front of them. A future together and one in which Alistair would spend showing Elyssa how much she was loved and valued and needed by him. No matter any distance between them that their duties dictated, they would always be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of Elyssa and Alistair's story set during Origins. I have the next part of their journey in the works set during Awakening and the first year or two of their marriage. I hope to begin posting it in late January 2020. Thank you to everyone who has read this story and/or left kudos. Have a happy new year!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a series of short stories I wrote about my Warden, Elyssa Cousland, but never posted. The series title is taken from the achievement the noble origin gains when the Warden reaches Ostagar.


End file.
